Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Similarity Stops Here

I've caught myself comparing my kids to one another a lot recently, and it bothers me.  It REALLY bothers me.  I don't want to start a pattern where Chloe is always being compared to her big sister.  I'm afraid it will mean a lifetime of feeling like she does not measure up, or on the flip side, it will make Camdyn feel her baby sister does no wrong. 

The whole comparison thing starts out pretty harmlessly.  I mean, from birth, it's hard not to compare them physically.  They are twins separated by 3.2 years.  The similarity at this age is almost creepy.  And, yes, I dressed Chloe in the same nightgown in an effort to recreate the image of Camdyn, but I had to because they are totally twinies.

I told ya it was freaky.

And, then Chloe started to grow, kinda, at a really slow and petite pace and I was amazed at how two kids from the same gene pool could be so vastly different in appetite and sleep habits.  Camdyn was a 95th %tile baby the whole way, Chloe, well, she's in the 5th.  Camdyn would eat forever, she never got full and she would never refuse food.  Chloe doesn't eat when she's not hungry and she never ate around the clock, even as a newbie. 

Here they are wearing the same outfit.  We call this the lettuce leaf hat, because on Camdyn's round head it totally makes her look like a head of lettuce, which I HEART BIGTIME.  Chloe is 4 months old in this outfit, therefore the cute expression on her face.  Camdyn is 8 weeks old, therefore, the blank stare. 

And then Chloe started hitting her milestones, teething, sitting, crawling, 1st foods, standing, weaning, walking and the comparisons continue.  The comparisons seem so harmless at this age, but I wonder, at what age do they start making a dent?  Do, I have this issue simply because I have two girls or do parents of different gender siblings face the same challenge?

I don't know, maybe I need to read a book on the topic or something.  How to raise each child like they are an only child, or something along those lines.... Or, maybe I just need to shut my cake hole and stop myself from uttering comparisons to friends and strangers who pose the questions.

The one thing I know for sure, is that I want both of my girls to embrace their differences and to feel loved and appreciated for the individuals that they are.  And, I really, really, really, hope that they grow up to be BFFs. 


Michelle & Jimmy Rivas said...

Carole...just because you are so aware of the comparisons, makes me truly believe that your girls will completely embrace each other and their own individuality thanks to you. Don't second guess yourself! You are a wonderful mommy!!! :)
By the way, the pictures are too cute!

Britt said...

Those pictures are unreal!!! They really do look alike BUT they will embrace themselves individually too! You are a great mom!

Liza said...

Wow! You weren't kidding that they looked like twins! Oh, I wish I had some nugget of brilliant advice, but I have no clue! I mean, it's got to be natural to compare. How can you stop your brain from doing it? I guess the trick is not to make one RIGHT and the other WRONG, but just note it as differences and be curious and full of wonder.

CUTE girls!! (And thanks for all your support on my blog!)

mandacait said...

Wow, they are so similar!! I am there as far as comparing, believe me. I just keep thinking that once we are out of all this "milestone" and "weight %" business, they just become who they are and I won't give it a 2nd thought. They are ridiculously cute, btw!

Krista @ Not Mommy of the Year said...

Thanks for sharing this link. I think that I will be the exact same way. But in some ways I do it now, I think about when my friends kid had teeth or when she rolled over. Not because I want C to be like her, but just as a "this is what's coming next" thing. I don't think you comparing them like that is hurting anything at all! They will be individuals who will embrace their differences but also take pride in their similarities.