"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning.
Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will..."
~Hope Floats, 1998
Thank you for all your prayers and kind words over the last several weeks. I spent the last 8 days back home where I was in the care and company of family. I was home where my Momma took care of me; she reminded me to eat, and to nap, and to get out of the house. She hugged me when I cried so hard my shoulders shook. She cried with me and she sat with me when I didn't feel like talking. She gave me gifts wrapped in beautiful paper and reminded me that I am worth it. She reminded me that I should feel beautiful and proud of who I am. I am still who I am. I may have lost 12 pounds, but I haven't lost me.
I stand here today amidst the rubble; chunks of concrete laden with miscommunication and lost intentions. My choice is to pick up those blocks one by one and rebuild; build something that is bigger, and better, and stronger than what was there before. I don't know how long that will take and there is no blueprint, but I'm going to start laying the foundation of a happier me.
Any way I look at it, I will be happier.
I have hope.
I won't be writing any more about these muddy waters, at least not until the water is clear again. This space is mine, it's my life story, but I know I am not going to want to revisit or relive this part of it, so it has no place here. Thank you for your prayers, your support, and the shoulders to cry on. If you have any perils of wisdom please email me.