Monday, December 5, 2011

There Will Be Plenty of Time for Tears....Later.

A few weeks ago we noticed that our dog didn't have much of an appetite. She would no longer finish the food in her bowl, and she started losing weight.  On the Sunday after Thanksgiving she wouldn't come out from under our bed, and when we did coax her out, her ears were flat against her head, her tail was down, and she looked scared.  I knew something was wrong.
So, I took her to the vet on Monday.  She'd lost 3 lbs.  They decided to draw blood.

Last Tuesday the vet called with the results...her kidneys are failing her.  At the most, she has 6 months, at the least 2 weeks.  It's day to day, really.   We've been telling our girls that Kenzie is sick, but I couldn't bring myself to elaborate.  We've been meaning to sit down and explain it to them...but it's one of those things that feels better to put off.  It feels better to avoid reality.

Fast forward to Sunday evening, and I decide that we should give Christmas photos a stab since December is fading and my to-do list is not getting shorter.  The hubs was running errands and I gathered the girls and the dog around the tree.  "Let's just get a few shots...Momma only needs a few."
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It wasn't going so well...

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The dog was cooperating but the kids were not.  So then I say, in my cheeriest voice,

"Come on girls!  We need just one photo with Kenzie.  This is her last Christmas!" 

As soon as the words escaped my mouth I knew I made a huge mistake.  Camdyn never misses a beat, nothing gets by her. 

"Why is this her last Chrismas Momma?" 
"Um, because she is sick, Cam, and she will probably be with Jesus next Christmas."
"But...I don't want her to die.  I don't want another dog.  I want Kenzie."

It's too late.  The conversation went in the total opposite direction of happy Christmas card.  She started to cry.  I started to cry.  And through heaving shoulders and her heavy sobs, I explained just how sick Kenzie is....and it wasn't easy. 

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We hugged.  I encouraged her to love Kenzie every moment she can while she is still here.  Kenzie licked her tears and I explained that Kenzie doesn't want her to be sad.  There will be time for tears later.
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I never did get another smile from my oldest girl that evening, but the doggie got a lot of love. 

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There will be plenty of time for tears later.  She is going to be missed.

14 comments:

Kelly's Avenue said...

My prayers are with you and your family!!! May GOD watch over you and your family =(

I have a dog with diabetes for a few months now.

Liz said...

OH man .... tears didn't come later for me, I'm sitting here crying now! Darn these pregnancy hormones.. and the fact that I just love that little dog too :(

I'm sorry that the conversation went the opposite way that you intended, but I think you will be thankful for that conversation when the harder part comes. Camdyn and Chloe can enjoy the time left with Kenz and really appreciate her while she is still here....

Take a deep breath .... love you!

Ashley Sisk said...

Oh my goodness - this completely breaks my heart. Big hugs.

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

I am so sorry. My heart broke when I read this.
When I was pregnant with Dylan, I went through the same thing. Our just-turned-2-year-old Great Dane lost weight. We took her to the vet, and they told us she only had two months at most. She passed away one week later, and it was heartbreaking.
I am so very sorry. Big hugs to you and your family.

J.Mo said...

Oh Carol, I am so sorry. Thoughts and prayers headed your way.

Caterina said...

Oh my, that was hard to read. I have no words.....just a lot of tears right now.

Big BIG HUG {{{{HUG}}}}

Why not the middle shot? With the three of them and your littlest one peeking out from underneath Kenzie? It feels kind.

Nessa said...

Oh Carol. I am so sorry.My heart breaks for you. Sending you hugs.

Rebecca Bany said...

Prayers for you and yours.
www.rebeccabany.com

Jennifer said...

I am so sad that things didn't go as planned with the XMas card, but maybe it was for a reason :) I guess the conversation was going to have to happen sooner or later. Maybe Kenzie just needed some love that night. I will keep my fingers crossed that Kenzie holds on a little longer :)

TV's Take said...

Oh poor pup and you and your kiddos! You can clearly see how sad Cam is. Hope she lives out her days with happy memories

Mama Hen said...

My dear friend, I have had so many computer problems lately and am now catching up with everyone. I can now get back to my daily visits. I am so sorry to hear this about your sweet little doggie. We went through it twice within the last two years and it is terrible, sad and difficult on all. My daughter still has a hard time with the loss of our little Pudding, but finds great comfort in knowing that he is up in Heaven with his angel wings on looking after us. I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through this. I will say prayers.

Mama Hen

Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

I am so sorry Carol. I know what it is like to loose a dear furry friend. We lost our dog two yeas ago at Christmas time. To say it was a hard Christmas was an understatement. He was my furry child. I still miss him.

Melanie said...

Crying for all of you. Your pictures were beautiful.

Casey Martinez said...

Oh friend I am so sorry to hear about your furry family member. Your little doggie is so so sweet and these pictures are priceless because you captured these final times with the kids and their pup. So sorry for this pain and loss. I have been there and it hurts soooooooo bad. Much love.