Thursday, December 29, 2011

Hope Floats

"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning.
Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will..."
~Hope Floats, 1998

2011-12-24_19.36.30[1]


Dear Friends,
Thank you for all your prayers and kind words over the last several weeks.  I spent the last 8 days back home where I was in the care and company of family.  I was home where my Momma took care of me; she reminded me to eat, and to nap, and to get out of the house.  She hugged me when I cried so hard my shoulders shook.  She cried with me and she sat with me when I didn't feel like talking.  She gave me gifts wrapped in beautiful paper and reminded me that I am worth it.  She reminded me that I should feel beautiful and proud of who I am.  I am still who I am.  I may have lost 12 pounds, but I haven't lost me.

I stand here today amidst the rubble; chunks of concrete laden with miscommunication and lost intentions.  My choice is to pick up those blocks one by one and rebuild; build something that is bigger, and better, and stronger than what was there before.  I don't know how long that will take and there is no blueprint, but I'm going to start laying the foundation of a happier me.    

Any way I look at it, I will be happier. 

I have hope.

~~~~~~
I won't be writing any more about these muddy waters, at least not until the water is clear again.  This space is mine, it's my life story, but I know I am not going to want to revisit or relive this part of it, so it has no place here.  Thank you for your prayers, your support, and the shoulders to cry on.  If you have any perils of wisdom please email me.

7 comments:

Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

Carol I love you. I have been worrying about you. You are a wonderful person and mother! If you ever need me, I am always here for you. Just keep putting on foot in front of the other girl. I know you will be happy.

Colleen (Shibley Smiles) said...

Carol,

I just wanted to say Hugs for whatever you are going through. I hope all will be well for you soon.

Jennifer said...

I have been thinking of you all week. I am glad you went home to be with your family, your mom. We all need our mothers regardless of our age. And that is what is going to get you through this. The fact that you have to be strong for your girls. You are worth it and you are going to rebuild a happier you. I know it. And I will be there for the ride. I love ya!!

TV's Take said...

Sounds like you have the support and strength you need to get through this difficult time. Thinking about you!

Mama Hen said...

I am proud of you Carol! You have a great attitude and that will healp you to stay strong when times are so difficult. You have your faith in God above and that will make everything better before you know it. He will take care of you and He will comfort you. You also have your mom and family to help bring a smile to your face, listen when you need to speak and simply be there to hug when you need the love. I wish you a very Happy New Year my friend. I hope that you will be able to rebuild the foundation even stronger and smile once again from within your heart my friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Mama Hen

Casey Martinez said...

Hey friend. I am just wondering how you are doing and what is going on. Praying that whatever it is that you are feeling some peace and that God is holding you in his arms when you are to weary to press on. So sorry for whatever it is that has been going on. I'll keep praying!

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

Carol,
I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and that I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I wish nothing but the best for you and your sweet girls!