Kids. Are. Cruel.

Someone please loan me a spine, a set of balls, or some thicker skin.  I'm going to need it if I am going to survive the rapidly approaching elementary school years. 

Last night we went to Chick Fil A for dinner.  Camdyn finished her dinner before the rest of the family so she scampered off to the play land.  We could see her through the window and we watched as she quickly paired up with two older girls (about 8 years old) and began running around with them.  Up and down the slide they went, hiding from the boys and it looked like they were having a blast.  The Hubs and I chatted about how Cam is extremely social, and how she doesn't have one shy or reserved bone in her body and how awesome that is. 

And, then I finished my meal, Chloe was squawking, so I took her in to the play land so that she could play and watch the bigger kids run around.  We walked in to the room and Camdyn announced to her friends that her baby sister was there and to please watch out for her.  Serious sweetness.  And, then I saw what was really going on.

The older girls weren't playing with Camdyn, they were trying to run from her.  She was like the annoying kid sister that they couldn't shake, and they were irritated with her.  I was kind of stunned because I've never seen her in that position before.  Typically, she is the leader.  She is the one in her class that the others are following, and if they don't follow her, she could care less.  She's strong and independent, so to see her be the odd child, the outcast child, was pretty much a needle to the heart.  So, I sat there and watched.  One of the girls would tell Cam to go and hide in the cow car, which was at the top of the play thing, on the opposite side of the slide.  Cam would climb all the way up there and wait a minute, and then realize that no one was coming to find her and she would climb down, and join the girls again, smiling the whole time.  They were like her new best friends, but she was the only one that felt that way.  At one point, the older girl said under her breath "stop following me. you are so gross." 

At that point, I debated saying something.  I was going to call that little girl over to me and explain to her that Camdyn is only 4 years old, and if she can't include her and play nicely, then she should go back to her table and sit with her mother.  She was probably above the height restriction for the play land anyway.  And, then, I second guessed myself.  Is it my place to discipline or reprimand this child?  After all, she wasn't physically hurting my child, she was just being rude.  Do I step in, or do I see how it plays out?  Although, I want to protect Camdyn from all the hurt and pain in the world, I can't fight every battle for her, right? 

So. I. Did. Nothing.

After a few more minutes of witnessing this behavior which is hurting my feelings, not my child's, but MINE, I tell Cam it's time to go.  As we head to the car, the whole situation begins to eat me alive.  Why?  Because I'm a frickin' sap, and a wet noodle, and I can't stand hurt feelings....I over empathize with people, to the point where it is becoming a personality flaw.  We get in the car, and I begin to enlighten Hubs, who missed the whole situation.  We are spelling out the majority of our conversation so that Cam doesn't understand and he thought without a doubt that I should have done something about it.  He told me to grow some balls, and stand up for our kids, and that I better learn how to do that when they are young, because when they are 14 and I have to do it, it's going to be even tougher.  On one hand I agree, but on the other hand, I am not going to be able to fight all of her battles for her, and I can't protect her 

She's going to have to learn how to stand up for herself.  And, I hope she does.  And that she learns how to stand up for other kids that are picked on and bullied.  I hope she is that kid. 

As tears are welling in my eyes on the drive home, Hubs turns to Camdyn and asks, "Did you have fun at Chick Fil A?"  Between licks of her ice cream cone she says, "Yes Daddy!  I had so much fun with those girls, but not with those boys."  He looks at me, squeezes my leg, and says "That's all that matters."

I still lost sleep over it.  I debated whether or not I did the right thing, and I wished that I could just keep Camdyn at her Christian School forever, in the classroom where she is loved and feels accepted with a teacher that she adores, but I know that can't happen.

Eventually, she's going to run in to cruel kids.  And when she does, I hope that I am better prepared to handle it than I was last night.

I am interested to know what you would have done.  Please share.