Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Things Change

I found a blog last week that is unlike any other blog that I am reading, it is absolutely raw and the hilarity is out of control.  Where I tend to be a sentimental and sappy writer, Ericka's word choice is straight comedy and...um...brilliant.  We might be polar opposites in how we express ourselves, but we have mommahood and life experience, and the ability to write in fragmented sentences in common. 

Last Friday she wrote a piece about putting your husband first. It struck a chord with me.  Wait.  Shouldn't I be doing that?  Do I do that?  So, I emailed her.  I had to thank her for making me think twice about how much energy and focus I currently devote to good ole Hubs.  You can read snippets of our emails in her post here.

Four and half years ago when I was a brand new momma I had the exact same intentions as my new friend, Ericka.  I swore up and down I wouldn't ever let a baby/child take the focus off of my marriage and my relationship with my husband.  I knew that aside from the Good Lord, our marriage was what holds the family together, breeds happiness for our girls, and is the lifeline of our family.  But, somehow, through the trying toddler years and into the obstinate pre-school years the focus slowly shifted from "us" to "them" - the kids.  We began to take for granted the strength of our marriage, and were almost forced to divert the bulk of our energy to the kids.... Essentially, we are in survival mode with little time left to devote to the couple that existed pre-kids. 

Things change.  People change.  A marriage is evolving. 

When we signed up for this deal, together, we knew the road would not always be easy.  We knew that we had to be teammates in this thing, and luckily that provided us a good base for the hurdles that parenthood provides.  So, I thought long and hard about what Ericka said, and how I've taken for granted that which matters most and I put that in to perspective. 

For as strong as our marriage is, a little extra TLC, and a little more attention can only help. 

A big thank you to Ericka for the breath of fresh air, the reality check, and for allowing me to share a piece of my story with her.  And, my Hubs thanks her too for the extra horizontal communication that came out of my new found clarity.

Visit THE COW and enjoy some laughs and maybe, just maybe, some truly useful Intel.


Amanda said...

Isn't she fabulous!! I heart her and want to be friends in real life...and you too of course, dear! I also agree 100%...being a mom doesn't mean your kids are now the *only* important thing in your life.

Ropella4 said...

Carol, This was TOOO funny!!! I almost peed my pants!! I bet Chris was thankful-- and I am sure you enjoyed yourself too!!!! Try it more:)

LeeAnn said...

I found her blog a while ago during the D-List hop and she is hilarious! I probably should be paying a little more attention to my husband too. He does everything for us and doesn't get much in return. I will have to check out her post!