The Crystal Ball Camera

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It turns out that my girlfriend Becky has a camera that has a crystal ball function on it.  Sometimes it takes pictures that give me a glimpse of the future and it literally makes me want to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, plug my ears with my fingers and sing "La-la-la-la-la" so I don't have to think about it.

When I look at this picture I don't see 4 year old, strong willed, I'm a leader, cute little baby voice, please tie my shoes, I have to go potty, why can't we own a pterodactyl, Camdyn.  I see Camdyn 11 years from now, I see Camdyn at age 15. 

"Mom when I'm 15, I promise to still love you"

(At least I hope that's what she will be thinking)

Is it the look in her eyes or the way she is standing?  I see Camdyn, with black eyeliner, DC shoes on her feet, an attitude, and an overwhelming detest for her mother ::shudders:: that comes with teen age hormones, peer pressure, and the simple uncool factor of 40 year old parents.

So, if you don't see that in this picture, then check out this one:

Mabye it's the lollipop stick hanging from her lips, reminiscent of a cigarette she should not be smoking (and Camdyn, mommy will ground you like you've never been grounded before if I find out you are smoking).  It's the slight head tilt and the look in her eye like she has it ALL UNDER CONTROL.  Humph.

So, while I appreciate the cute factor in this picture and the glimpse in to what adolescence with two teen age girls might bring us, I really want to end this post and not think about it ever again.  But, first...

Dear 15 year old Camdyn,

Life at 15 SUCKS.  It really does.  You are almost an adult, but still technically a child, and you are caught between both worlds.  Although, you may think that I don't understand any of your daily challenges at school and in your life, I probably do.  Talk to me.  Share with me and allow me to be a part of your rapidly changing world. 

I promise that I will do my best not to judge your decisions and that I will offer my advice when requested and that I will support all of your endeavors as long as it isn't drugs (thanks for that line PG).  But, also remember that my job is to raise you in the Lord's ways, to make sure that you are safe and provided for, and to ensure that you do, in fact, GROW UP. 

I am your MOTHER before I am your FRIEND and that means that there will be moments when we butt heads and that we disagree and you might even think that I'm an idiot and that I don't understand....and that's okay.  I love you to the moon and back and am strong enough to see you through the crap hole that is the teen age years.  And when you get to the other side; when you are a happy, healthy, well adjusted adult who is a productive member of society, and most likely a MOTHER YOURSELF, you will thank me for it.  And, my love, I will THANK YOU for being the best teen-ager a mother could ask for.

So, Cammer, please don't fault me for always seeing you like this:

You will forever be my precious baby girl, no matter how old you get or how independent you become.  And while you no longer need me to tie your shoes, help you brush your teeth, or calm you down when you are scared, I am still here for you in every way you could imagine. 

Love you Forever and Always,

Your 43 year old Momma