I Need to Change my Attitude.

“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.”

~Maya Angelou

Change has been on my mind a lot lately.  Change is constant.  You can't escape change, and unfortunately some people don't deal with change as well as others.  I'm typically a go with the flow kinda girl.  I don't usually "sweat the small stuff" and I usually consider myself easy-going, but in the midst of all of the change that we are going through, I find myself wound tighter than a drum.

Tomorrow, we are packing the house and moving for the 2nd time in nine months.  It wasn't that big of a deal the last time we moved, but this time around it's complicated by Thanksgiving and Christmas right around the corner.  It's complicated by the fact that our lease isn't up until February and our current house is not rented out yet.  It's complicated by a handful of projects at the new house that haven't been completed yet.  It's complicated by the fact that our appliances haven't been delivered yet.  There are a hundred things I am stressing over and I need to just let it all go....

I need to change my attitude.  I need to embrace the change.

And, then there have been the unnecessary stressors I've been putting on myself over Camdyn's behavior at school.  The truth is, she's a good kid.  She has her act together when she wants to, like during her first ballet class on Saturday, and at the Build-a-Bear party two weeks ago.  She can be a handful, but she can also be an absolute doll.  I see both sides.  I know my child.  I need to let it all go.

I need to change my attitude.

Then, there are friendships that have changed over time and some of those changes weigh heavy on my heart.  There are days when I curse my job and the fact that I'm sitting in a cubicle while ALL (yes ALL) of my friends are SAHMs and are getting together for playdates and mommy-time.  I feel somewhat discluded (not intentionally of course) and I forget that this job provides my family with benefits, a new house, clothes, trips to Disney World, and college funds.  I forget that I like my job.  I forget that I chose this job. 

I need to change my attitude.

On Sunday, I had the pleasure of taking pictures for a dear friend.  She needed just one good photo for her Xmas card, and I thought...I can probably handle that.  It was the first time I picked up my camera since Halloween, and it felt good to spend 45 minutes snapping away.  I lost myself through my lens.  I let all the stresses of the move and life in general drift away.  I existed in the moment and it felt good.

My dear friend asked me to take one picture of the girls together.  She wants one to frame and hang in Little Miss' bedroom to remind her of Camdyn.  Next year, they will set off to different elementary schools, different Kindergarten classrooms, and their lives will take them down different paths. 

When Hubs saw this photo he said it makes him want to cry.  His words.  Honest. 

Their whole worlds will change next year. 

Hand-in-hand they are on the same path.  Cam with her favorite dinosaur tucked beneath her arm.  They are the best of friends.  Their friendship knows no parameters, it knows no stresses or misconceptions.  They fight, they argue, they refuse to hug, then they turn around and play together again.  I wish adult friendships had the same ease and security.  I wish "play nicely" was the mantra for everyone, all the time. 

I need to change my attitude.

So, I'm going to change the way I'm thinking about the things that are stressing me out.  I'm going to take a deep breath, realize that everything will fall in to place, and that everything will be exactly the way it should be.  God is in control and I need to let him do the worrying for me.

I am changing my attitude.