To Camdyn on her 8th Birthday

Dear Camdyn,
It's hard to believe that you are 8 already. 8. My favorite number and also what is shaping up to be my favorite age so far. You have become your own independent person, no longer requiring my help to get cereal in the morning or shower at night. You know boundaries and consequences, and yet, you still reach for my hand in a parking lot, or wrap your arms around my waist in the kitchen...just because.  


Sometimes while we are driving in the car I'll glance over at you and I can almost see what you'll look like at 16. Maybe it's the way your hair is braided down your back, or the shape of your face, or the look in your eyes as you gaze out the window...I can see you growing up and it scares me and thrills me at the same time.
Your teacher describes you as great helper and incredibly sweet, and you are. You often take Chloe under your wing. You console her when she is hurt or scared of the dark. Almost every night I find her squeezed in your bed beside you. You love her even when you are irritated with her, and I'm grateful that you have each other.  Sometimes when I've had a long day, or am feeling overwhelmed, you'll hug me and remind me that I'm your only mom, you'll tell me that I am the best mom ever, or that I'm pretty, or that no one can replace me.  That's the sweetness in you.  You are sensitive yet strong.

. 

My wish for you over the coming year is that you continue to work hard in school; that you embrace your love for reading and knowledge. I hope you continue to feel loved and cherished in both of your homes and by all the people who surround you. I hope you hang on to your dreams and that smile of yours and that you never let anyone burn either of those out. My promise to you, is that I will do my very best to give you the life that you deserve. Although we are no longer on the road we started on, I believe that the one we are on is leading us exactly where we were meant to go.



Be bold. Be Strong. Stay happy.

I love you forever & always,
Momma

The Video - Mi Chloe

From her 3rd birthday shoot...

She's 3

My Sweet Chloe Belle,
Yesterday, you didn't take a nap and by 7:00 pm you were on your last leg.  You cried and cried over a horse picture that Camdyn colored and you wanted.  I told myself to be patient with you because you are only 2...and then I realized that tomorrow you would be 3.  So, I took you upstairs and we sat in the rocking chair and I replayed your birthday in my mind as we rocked for what will probably be one of the last times.  After 5 minutes or so, you asked me to stand up because you wanted to rest your head on my shoulder, so I did.  I stood there with you in the fading evening light of your bedroom and we slowly turned circles until you were fast asleep.  I laid you down and kissed your puffy cheeks good night.  And as I shut the door to your room I thought "this will be the last time I ever lay my 2 year old to bed, we will never have another 2 year old." 

This morning I went to wake you and you were not in your bed.  I was alarmed for a minute and then figured you had to be upstairs somewhere.  I found you fast asleep nestled against your sister.  How sweet that in the night when you are looking for a body to curl up against,  you now choose her bed over mine. 

And today you are 3!  Full of spunk and spitfire and solid sweetness just like the day you were born.

At exactly 7:14 this morning, Daddy & I took turns giving you kisses during your birth minute.  You swatted us away and we laughed about how you have always been the same.  You've always been a screamer and a "say it like it is" kind of girl.  You don't get pushed around, you speak your mind, and you care not what other's say.  I think you get this from Grandma D.  You remind me a lot of her, in spirit and temperament. 

But, you are also sweet as the setting sun.  You are a hand holder and a rule follower, and quick to share and please others.  At just 3 you already care about feelings and whether or not Momma is happy or sad.  Sometimes, if I turn my sad face on, your eyes will well with tears.  We are connected that way, just like me and my mom. 

Since we've done 3 before, I know what to expect.  This will be the year that the baby will disappear and a preschooler will be left in her place.  This will be a year of "why's?" and questions and limit testing.  But it will also be a year of independence and cohesive play with your friends and sister.  It'll be a year where tantrums fade and emotions are communicated with words.  It's an age that I'll miss when you are 4. 

What I wish for you this upcoming year is that you continue finding words for your emotions and gentleness in your hands.  I hope you feel loved and safe and secure, always.  I hope that you and your sissy develop a steadfast friendship, which I can tell is already forming.  My wish for you is that you keep that fire in your belly that makes you stand up for yourself and others.  I hope you always speak your mind and that you demand only the best for yourself.  I hope my weaknesses are your strengths.

Happy 3rd birthday sweet girl.

Love you Forever & Always,
Momma

Wordless Wednesday - Happiness

"Happiness is when what you think,

what you say,

and what you do

are in harmony."

~Mohandas Gandhi

 

Out to dinner with Camdyn on her 6th birthday. 

Now We Are Six

"When I was One,

I had just begun.

When I was Two,

I was nearly new.

When I was Three

I was hardly me.

When I was Four,

I was not much more.

When I was Five,

I was just alive.

But now I am Six,

I'm as clever as clever,

So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever."

~Now We Are Six, A.A. Milne

Dearest Camdyn,
It's hard to believe it's been a year since my last birthday letter to you.  When I revisit my description of you last year, I simply smile.  Time is evolving and ever changing, and none of us are the same people we were a year ago.  You, my love, have replaced the defiance with compliance and understanding.  Kindergarten has matured you quickly.  You are now the peacekeeper with your sister far more often than you are the fire starter.  At times she will pull out fists full of your hair and your response is "Hey. Why'd you do that?"  It amazes me that you never retaliate.  You know your role in our family.  You know that you are the leader and the example for Chloe, and you are so comfortable in that role.

For this coming year, my wish for you is that you continue to love school, and reading, and that you feel loved and safe and secure.  I hope you continue to grow confident in who you are and that you stand by what is important to you.  And, I hope you know exactly how much you are loved.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl,

Love You Forever & Always,
Momma

Wordless Wednesday: This Cake is Iced with Awesome

A few weeks back the Hubs celebrated a birthday.  I happened to order his cake on a day that Camdyn earned double stars for her behavior at school.  Her reward was that she got to pick out Daddy's cake.  We sifted through the book of options at the bakery and then she chose this:

Two days later the Baker snickered as she handed me the cake, and then said "That is the best cake I've ever frosted." 

What daddy wouldn't be over the moon happy about a unicorn cake?

He surely was.  He loved that unicorn cake because our little girl loved that unicorn cake.

This is one of the simple joys of raising children. 

Wordless Wednesday - Success

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."

~ Bill Cosby

On Sunday, we attended a birthday party at a local mini-arcade.  Chloe took to skee-ball, although her little arms couldn't quite push or throw the ball all the way up the alley. 

So, she climbed right up on the lane and shortened the distance.

And, she found the joy of success.
Happy Wednesday, Y'all!

Wordless Wednesday - TWO

A Two Year Old Child is So Many Things

A Tiny Discoverer of Butterfly Wings,

A Hugger of Teddies,

A Sweet Sleepyhead,

And Someone to Dream for in Bright Years Ahead...

~Author Unknown

 

During the Birthday Song, Chloe waits confusedly to blow out her candles.

Waiting on her lunch to be delivered to her. This is pretty much the expression she wore all day.  No tantrums, but no smiles either.

Chloe bounced and bounced and bounced on her birthday.  Bounce houses are way more fun when you get to bounce alone or with one or two friends.

Chloe had a great birthday party.  The kids really seemed to enjoy the food, the bounce house, the playroom, and the pool!  As rushed and thrown together as the party was, it turned out perfectly. 

Many thanks to all my friends who dropped their plans and made Chloe a part of their Saturday morning!

To Chloe Belle on Her 2nd Birthday {Slideshow}

Dearest Chloe Belle,
Now, two years after the day you joined our family, it feels as though you have always been here.  I can hardly remember the times when I was not Momma to two little girls.  It seems as though your little blondish head has been bee-bopping right along with your sister's since the beginning of time.  I dig that about having two kids. 

Tomorrow we will celebrate you in a very spur of the moment, impromptu, birthday party that has ever been planned and executed in a mere 3 days.  It's my fault really.  I couldn't quite come to terms with leaving you on the night of your birthday to go to that concert that I really wanted to go to.  So, I procrastinated, hoping at some point it would feel right.  It never did.  So, with 4 days left until the main event, I decided that you should have a party and we would celebrate, because my dear, that is what feels RIGHT. 

We'll celebrate everything about you that is Two.  We'll celebrate your reluctance to have your diaper changed, unless we are laying you down on the memory foam bathmat that we purchased just for that purpose.  We'll celebrate your open mouth laugh and the high pitch squeal that comes with sheer excitement.  We'll celebrate your love for Nay-Nays and cows and revel in the way the words "baby cow" and "I nice to Trace" sound as they come out of your tiny mouth.  We'll celebrate your sweetness; the way you give bear hugs and your insistence on kissing Daddy & Sissy before we rock at bed time.  We'll celebrate your sour side too; the side that knows what she wants and does whatever she can to get it. 

We'll celebrate all that is YOU.

As your birthdays begin to roll by...as two becomes three, and three becomes four, I am aware at just how precious each year is.  Next year at this time, the toddler will have worn off and pre-schooler will be written all over your vocabulary, thoughts, and actions.  No sooner do I adjust to it, will you be entering the doors of Kindergarten.  Time can't stand still and I don't want it to.  I just want to remember it.  All the quirks and nuances that make two such a fun age.  The new sentences like, "I don't want it" and "I wuv you more" that melt my heart and befuddle me at the same time.  The skinned knees and tiny hand holding; the playground adventures; and big crocodile tears.  I want to lock them away in my memory bank; the toddler in you won't last another year.  You are growing up. 

And, I want you to grow up....but....I never want you to feel too old to call me with your problems.  I never want you to feel too old to crawl in bed with me at night when you are sad, scared, or lonely. 

I want you to grow up always feeling this loved and protected and adored.  I want you to grow up knowing that home is always home, and that you have a soft spot to fall.  I want you to grow up and be you; keep the fire in your eyes, let the sweetness shine, and grow in to the wonderful little girl you are destined to be.

But somewhere behind my smile, I'll be wishing that you never grew up.  I'll be wishing that things were always this simple.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Sweet Bellie Boo

Love Forever and Always,
Momma

The Children's Garden

Last Sunday we attended a birthday party at the local Children's Garden.  We'd never been there before, and were quite thrilled to find, mazes, things to climb on, a giant sandbox, a tree house, and best of all....a costume room for children & adults to play dress up in.

Yes, I realize that this photo is sun-streaky all to hell, but it's still cute and Cam was LOVIN' the mermaid dress she picked.  This is her best "I'm a model" pose with her Bestie.

We ate lunch and we watched the children enjoy themselves and the splendid weather.

We played and we laughed, and I snapped as many photos of the kids as I could.  Including this one of the Birthday Boy who absolutely avoids the camera at all costs!

And here he smiles at his Momma while she prepares his birthday cake.  You seriously could not wipe the cuteness off of his face.

This weekend we'll be enjoying another birthday party (The Girls are popular) and on Sunday Papa Bob is coming to visit for the day.  We'll be doing the usual stuff too, grocery shopping, taking pictures, and hopefully playing at the park.

Have a great weekend, friends!

Party at the Ranch - Photo Parade

Y'all it was one busy weekend!  I took Camdyn to Disney World on Friday and I'll have to share photos of that another day, but today, I want to share with you the photo-aftermath of Camdyn's 5th birthday party at the Ranch.

The weather was a perfect, the sun was out, and the kids were so excited to be at the Ranch. 

First, the children were given special, decorated, birthday helmets, and then they sat down for a lesson. 

They learned horse safety tips like "Never walk underneath a horse because they could poop on you," which was pretty much the best 4 year old wisdom of the day. They learned how to make the horse move by making kissing noises, how to stop the horse by saying "whoa."

Here Chloe sits with the boys while they learn about horses and horse safety.

And, then Cam's former teacher, Miss V, showed up and she may as well have been Justin Bieber in a room full of 12 year old girls, because all of the children flocked to her and screamed.  Only Rapunzel herself could have garnered a better welcoming. 

While you are all held captive in the middle of this photo parade, let me show you, Laura.  We met in the 5th grade and have been friends ever since.  We've often said that we live parallel lives.  The only difference is that she is raising boys and I'm raising girls.  Although, she's got a girl in that belly now...which pretty much means that if I ever have a third, then I'm guaranteed a boy, because that is how these things work.  Anyway, I adore her, and it was so special to have her here with her boy, Nolan.

After the safety lesson we took the party in to the stable, where Chloe and I paused for this photo with Cassandra, who was wise enough to bring a beer to the party.  There was a point where I wished I was drinking so that my anxiety level would have lessened...more on that later. 

They assigned the 14 children to 5 different horses and let them decorate them.  Okay, the kids didn't get to help too much with the decorating since they were only 3-5 years old and couldn't even reach the horses, but they got to dictate which decorations went where and had fun dressing the horsies up for the party.

Meet Cam's horse, Daisy.  Cam chose these decorations.  I can honestly say I've never seen a horse sport scrunchies before.  It's a good look on her.  Cam chose this horse out of the bunch because she really liked her name.  She got to ride on her the entire time while the other children took turns on the other four horses. 

Then the kids helped lead the decorated horses out to the arena.  With some major assistance, Cam was saddled up on Daisy.  Cam was not on Daisy's back for more than 10 seconds when the horse became startled and started to skirt around and buck up her hind legs.  I was certain Cam would fall off.  Hello anxiety nice to feel you again.  But, this fearless and strong child of mine, held on for deal life, said "Whoa Daisy," and with the help of her trainer, the horse calmed down and was fine the rest of the day.  I, however, was not.  There was this fear that loomed over me for the remainder of the party that somebody would get hurt, and thus my desire for a glass of wine to calm the nerves.  Luckily, that didn't happen (Praise Jesus).  This incident did not phase Camdyn in the slightest.  She loved that horse, she rode that horse for the rest of the party, and can't wait to ride again. 

Speaking of being proud, there were several children that conquered huge fears that day.  I had several mom's say to me in the stable, "I don't think my child is going to do this."  To which I responded, "That's okay, they can still watch and have a good time.  No worries."  All 14 kids rode a horse, and the only tears that were shed were of the "I don't want to get off the horse" variety. 

To take my mind off of the incident with Daisy, I decided to pick up Chloe and take her to the other arena where the children were brushing and leading Miniature Horses.  Chloe and I had fun finding horse poop.  Yeah, sounds great, doesn't it?  She would say "Mo Horse Poop" and we would hunt for droppings in the sand.  A drink would have been better, but the poop distraction served its purpose.

Then, the kids played relay games with the horses.  They separated in to two teams, with one horse on each team.  They raced the horses from one side of the arena to the other and then the rider tried to eat a gummy worm off of a plate filled with whipped cream, and then they raced back.  Did I mention they let the kids trot the horses...FUN!  The pictures of the kids are hilarious.  Cam wouldn't stick her face in the whip cream, but here she is eating her gummy worm.

Here a few of the kids wait their turn.

I just have to share this shot of the most adorable baby boy who belongs to one of my dearest friends.  He makes me feverish and makes my ovaries itch. 

Then, they paused for a few pictures with the Nay Nays before it was time for cake.  Don't they look so tiny compared to the horses? 

Then, it was time for cake.  And, finally my turn to breathe a sigh of relief, no one was injured.  Everyone had a great time.  The anxiety ridden part of the party is over!

Camdyn chose a My Little Pony cake and it was delicious. 

We thanked our guests for coming and sent each child home with a horse figurine to play with and a box of crayons. 

The party was a success.  All the children seemed to enjoy themselves and it definitely was a memorable day at the Ranch.

I suck at party planning

I admit.  I am no good at party planning.  Although I somewhat enjoy it, I lack the creativity and time that allows for hand-made tissue paper flowers, name banners,  and a dedicated candy table.  I barely have enough energy to put together a general theme...and forget about matching goodie bags.  The thought of party planning to this extent gives me anxiety and also a sense of bewilderment and awe for those of you that do this.

I gave Camdyn two options for her 5th birthday party.  1) A camp out party at the house where we would light the fire pit, roast marshmallows and set up tents in the back yard to play in.  2) A horse party at a local ranch. 

She chose the horse party.  Hallelujah!  Although, it's going to be more expensive, I am not going to have to clean my house, I'm not going to have to attempt party themed decor, or brainstorm activities for the kids.  In fact, I get to let the ranch handle all of that...well, technically, I am paying them to handle all of that. So, I will show up with my kid, a cake, and some drinks, and we'll have ourselves a party!

Looky what Colleen from Shibley Smiles created for me!  I was so excited when I saw this.  Mind you, she did this in just a few hours, totally off the cuff.  I procrastinated, lost track of time, and then realized I had to get these in the children's hands before I left for Vegas...ugh, which totally reminds me that I still have a ton of photos to edit & share.  So, on Tuesday night I emailed her the deets and on Wednesday morning I printed these on 8x11 cardstock (easy breezy) and had these in the kids' folders by Wednesday afternoon. 


She's helluva talented and bailed me out of a serious invitation jam.  We've gotten quite a few compliments on them.  Thanks, Colleen!  I lovey me bloggy friends!

The Hubs and I have been debating whether or not we want to bring Chloe to the party.  It may be easier to leave her at home with a sitter so that I can take photos and so that he can watch, relax, socialize, help, and enjoy the party too.  Last night I asked Camdyn if it would be okay if we left sister at home with a sitter.  Her response,

"Yes, of course.  Wait.  Chloe LOVES Nay-Nays.  Chloe needs to come to my party.  Plus, she's my baby sister.  I need baby sister at my party." 

Heart - Melt.  Chloe's going to the party too.

Happy Monday!

To Camdyn on her 5th Birthday

Dearest Cam,
This morning Daddy and I woke you up with the happy birthday song.  We let you pick out your special birthday outfit and you couldn't wait to get dressed.  You chose your polka dot, twirly dress, with pink leggings and your brand new pink cowgirl boots and your toothless grin was your accessory. 

At exactly 7:29 this morning I smothered you with birthday kisses.  For your entire birth minute daddy and I took turns kissing your not-so-chubby cheeks and loving on you.  You squirmed and giggled and enjoyed every moment of it.

Today is your special day.  Today is my special day.  Five years ago today, you taught us what love is.

I think for that very reason your birthday will always hold a special place in my heart.  You are our firstborn.  You are the one that taught us what life is all about.  You taught us that love can make your heart explode with joy and can also harbor with it the greatest worry and grief imaginable.  You taught us about responsibility and commitment.  You've showed us our weaknesses and inadequacies, yet loved us as though we could move the world.  You are the one that made us a family.

Today, I look back upon your babyhood and I smile.  Those newborn nights that seemed to last forever surely didn't.  How quickly they passed.  Our night-time rendezvous now revolve around sips of water and trips to the potty and spoken "I Love You's." 



You need me less but I love you more.

It's getting harder and harder for me to remember specifics about your babyhood, your first words, how much you talked, when you were potty trained, etc.  And while those might be trivial milestones in the grand scheme of things, one thing is for certain, you are who you've always been. 

A tough and jovial toddler has yielded way to a pre-schooler who is much the same.  You never cared much for crying even when you took spills that made my heart skip a beat.  You rarely tantrumed as a toddler and took well to reasoning and rational thought.  You've learned well from that.

You are my negotiator.  You present your argument and you try your best to get me to change my mind.  You make it extraordinarily difficult to stand my ground.  But, I do, and your response is "Bummer."  Yes, my love, Bummer. 

I see myself in you.

There is a piece of me that is not sad to say good-bye to the 4's.  As with every stage its had its highs and lows.  I've enjoyed your extensive imagination, and your ability to hold a fluid conversation.  I've enjoyed your memory and love listening to you re-tell events from years passed....that always boggles my mind.  But, with this stage came serious boundary testing, bedtime battles, and defiance.  I think it's par for the course, and I also think I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

This year you'll head off to Kindergarten.  I'm excited for you, and although I may cry as I pull away from your school, I will not worry about you.  You are a social butterfly.  You make friends at every play date and every trip to the park.  I believe this to be a genetic trait.  You will be just fine in Kindergarten.  You will make your own way.

I see myself in you.

And, while this year may bring with it scores of change and your world will open up far bigger than the rooms at pre-school and at home, I trust you.  I trust you to say the right things, to do the right things, and to make the right choices.

Yesterday, I questioned you.  Someone had moved my bamboo plant from the counter to the table.  I asked you if you did it and you cracked a smile and then said, "I didn't do it.  Someone else did it."  I said, "I hope you are telling me the truth."  You replied, "I am telling the truth."  Daddy confirmed that he moved the plant so it could get better light and I rewarded you with a special piece of chocolate for telling momma the truth.  And, I hope you always do.

So, big girl, as you look over your shoulder at me quickly as you forge ahead to a world of unknown possibility, always remember how much Daddy and I love you.  Remember that our hopes for you are endless and trust that we always have your best interests at heart.  There will be a lot of growing up that you do in the coming year.  Part of me looks forward to it and part of me dreads it.  You'll always be my baby, my first baby, and the one who changed my life.  So, press on my head strong and bold little girl.  Make your waves in the world and always remember exactly who you are.  We couldn't be more proud of you.

Happy Birthday.

Love you Forever & Always,