To Camdyn on her 8th Birthday

Dear Camdyn,
It's hard to believe that you are 8 already. 8. My favorite number and also what is shaping up to be my favorite age so far. You have become your own independent person, no longer requiring my help to get cereal in the morning or shower at night. You know boundaries and consequences, and yet, you still reach for my hand in a parking lot, or wrap your arms around my waist in the kitchen...just because.  


Sometimes while we are driving in the car I'll glance over at you and I can almost see what you'll look like at 16. Maybe it's the way your hair is braided down your back, or the shape of your face, or the look in your eyes as you gaze out the window...I can see you growing up and it scares me and thrills me at the same time.
Your teacher describes you as great helper and incredibly sweet, and you are. You often take Chloe under your wing. You console her when she is hurt or scared of the dark. Almost every night I find her squeezed in your bed beside you. You love her even when you are irritated with her, and I'm grateful that you have each other.  Sometimes when I've had a long day, or am feeling overwhelmed, you'll hug me and remind me that I'm your only mom, you'll tell me that I am the best mom ever, or that I'm pretty, or that no one can replace me.  That's the sweetness in you.  You are sensitive yet strong.

. 

My wish for you over the coming year is that you continue to work hard in school; that you embrace your love for reading and knowledge. I hope you continue to feel loved and cherished in both of your homes and by all the people who surround you. I hope you hang on to your dreams and that smile of yours and that you never let anyone burn either of those out. My promise to you, is that I will do my very best to give you the life that you deserve. Although we are no longer on the road we started on, I believe that the one we are on is leading us exactly where we were meant to go.



Be bold. Be Strong. Stay happy.

I love you forever & always,
Momma

Pomp and Circumstance - Kindergarten Style

It seems like just yesterday that I snapped these photos of Camdyn on her first day of Kindergarten.  She was so happy she was glowing and not a tear was shed as her Daddy and I kissed her goodbye that morning in her classroom. 

And now, here we sit at the end of May, the end of the school year approaching like a freight train. 

Kindergarten is nearly over. 

She grew up immensely this past year...and she had a ton of fun doing it. 

Come to think of it...we all grew up immensely this year. 

Where she began to lay the groundwork for good work habits, study skills, and focus.  I began to lay the groundwork for personal happiness, goals, and a functional family.

 


 

Where she declared victory for earning 20 reading counts points and getting her picture on the tree in the media center, I declared my own personal victory.  I am happier than I was before...maybe not every day, but in general I am happier and healthier. 

I told you.  :)

Where she did gem mining and learned about rocks.  I moved rocks too.  Actually, more like big chunks of concrete.  I took a long hard look in the mirror and I made changes.  Changes that make my life better and more active.  Changes that put priorities in order. 


She learned about rocks with the help of a guide.  I moved mine with the help of dozens; friends, pastors, therapists, my family and God.  It takes a lot of people, and a lot of power to move big rocks, but I am doing it....steadily and with help.

And throughout the year, she continued with her riding lessons.  She's posting like a pro, she's jumping rails and still looking forward to every lesson.  She's found her passion.  We've rediscovered ours.

It's up and it's down.  It's life. 

And friendships make it easier.

Maybe it really is true, that everything you need to know, you learn in Kindergarten. 

It's been a year of learning for all of us.

Last night Camdyn graduated from Kindergarten.  We are so proud of all her accomplishments this year.  She's grown, she's changed, but she's still our energetic, exuberant little girl.   

A little girl who has learned the trick of an "open mouth smile" from her Momma.

 Open Mouth Smile = Super Happy and Copious Amounts of FUN!

In celebration, we had yogurt at OrangeLeaf after the ceremony....nothing says celebration like ice cream with any topping your heart desires!

Please hang with this wiggly and over-zoomed video until the 3:10 mark.  It'll be worth the giggle.  Promise. (Taylor Swift Cam is in the back row)



I am so proud of you, Cam!  I'm hoping that first grade brings a whole lot of sunshine with it. 

Love you!
Forever n Always,
Momma

Wordy Wednesday - Truth

"I am not afraid of tomorrow for I have seen yesterday

and I love today."

~author unknown

A kind woman at our church offered to take this photo of us on Saturday.  I can't remember the last time all four of us made it in one frame.  Sure, Chloe is doing her own thing, and yes the sun was in our eyes...but we are all here...all 4 of us.  This photo is a treasure to me.

And then there was anticipation, and eggs strewn about, and little girls who had trouble resisting the urge to jump the gun.  I love it when she smiles so big her eyes disappear....just like her momma.

There is grass and eggs, and the smells of spring...a time of year for new beginnings, new life, refreshed spirits, and new promises.  A resurection. 

She's 6.  She couldn't wait to hunt those eggs and even scoped and staked out a coveted golden egg for her baby sister.  I wonder how many hunts she has left in her...you know, before this becomes child's play for her instead of awe and wonderment. 

Last year Easter made me homesick.  This year it didn't, not in the slightest.  This year I didn't spend the day wishing I was somewhere else....I spent it appreciating exactly where I am.  A day spent just the four of us, running, playing, flying kites, napping, lounging, hiding eggs and baskets; grilling, laughing, swimming...and just being - a family; it was and is everything a holiday should be. 

This my friends, is appreciation in its purest form.

The Video - Mi Chloe

From her 3rd birthday shoot...

Wordless Wednesday - Sunshine

"Keep your face to the Sunshine and you can not see the Shadow."

~author unknown

Wordy Wednesday - My Valentine

My Valentine Wrote This:

As we grow, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. 

You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. 

You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. 

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt.  Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances, you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you, and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, be a flirt, & smile until your face hurts. 

Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love again, & most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second you can never get back.

Carol - You do matter, you are a brave, beautiful, out going, wild spirited woman! 
You are a wonderful mother and a dedicated friend.

I'm glad to have you as one of my dearest friends!

Hope my jar of happiness lifts your spirits!

Love,

The one and only Miss V

**and my eyes welled with tears.  I am loved.  I know this.**

The jar contains daily affirmations and they smell good too!  Sayings like:
"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines"
"Optimists are nostalgic about the future"
"Put all your excuses aside and remember this:  YOU are capable of anything"

Then I spent a part of my day with 18 kindergartners.  Their energy and enthusiasm is contagious.  I smiled from ear to ear...how can you not be happy when you are around kids? (that horse head is part of Cam's homemade Valentines day box - it is a horse of course)

Then, I picked up my little Lovie from school and we sang all the way home.

Life is Good.  I feel blessed.

Wordless Wednesday - Strength

"All things in life are temporary.  If things are going well enjoy it, they will not last forever. If things are going wrong don’t worry, they can't last long either."

~Author Unknown

My strength lies here...

In their smiles...

In their passion for horses and all things horse related....

In their hugs and snuggles and endless imaginations...

My strength lies in motherhood....in my ability to protect, forgive, and love unconditionally.

Everything absolutely changes with motherhood...priorities, responsibility, schedules, finances...

But the thing that changes the most - is the perception of LOVE.  They are walking, breathing, laughing, climbing, bickering, whiny, joyous, bodies of LOVE.

And I am stronger for it.

She jumps horses at Laurel Valley Ranch

Camdyn's affinity for horses spans back at least a year and half, and when you are freshly 6 years old, a year and a half is a big chunk of your life.  She's been taking private riding lessons since October.  It's something that I thought would eventually wear on her, like swimming lessons and dance classes, and those crowded gymnastics classes at the Y.  I thought it would run its course.  Well, it still is, and it's the one and only thing in life that Cam has ever been fiercely dedicated to.

Hi.  Let me introduce you to Market.  (Initially I wrote Meet Market...but that sounds odd...like meat market, and y'all we are at the ranch not at the gym).

Market is a registered American Quarter Horse, and Cam has only ridden her twice.  It turns out that her trot is smooth and her temperament trusting. 

It turns out that Market is Cam's new favorite horse (so sorry Molly...baby girl is outgrowing you).

Cam's perfecting her 2 point position, she has her crop in hand.  She's focused on the goals ahead.  She's about to turn the corner...

Focus and determination painted across her face, much the same as Market bears her blaze.  She will do this...

And she does; without fear, or doubts, or hesitation.  She jumps.  She's locked in 2 point, hands grasping mane and her crop, momentum forward, looking through Market's ears and focused on the end of the course.  2 jumps completed, one right after the other. 

This is her success. 

Actually, no, this is our success.  Our success in raising one extremely independent, bold, and fearless little girl. 

A little girl who is able to start recognizing her dreams.  A little girl who has parents who support her and her passions even though there are moments where it absolutely scares the bejezus out of me (and yes, she's already fallen off a few times).

And this part of parenthood...you know the part where your children start becoming little people, with long term goals, feelings that they adequately communicate, and real accomplishments...makes me so excited about what the future holds. 

We are going to tackle these rails together, Camdyn.  One hoof in front of the other, eyes focused on the goal....we are going to do it.

Wordless Wednesday - Happiness

"Happiness is when what you think,

what you say,

and what you do

are in harmony."

~Mohandas Gandhi

 

Out to dinner with Camdyn on her 6th birthday. 

Now We Are Six

"When I was One,

I had just begun.

When I was Two,

I was nearly new.

When I was Three

I was hardly me.

When I was Four,

I was not much more.

When I was Five,

I was just alive.

But now I am Six,

I'm as clever as clever,

So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever."

~Now We Are Six, A.A. Milne

Dearest Camdyn,
It's hard to believe it's been a year since my last birthday letter to you.  When I revisit my description of you last year, I simply smile.  Time is evolving and ever changing, and none of us are the same people we were a year ago.  You, my love, have replaced the defiance with compliance and understanding.  Kindergarten has matured you quickly.  You are now the peacekeeper with your sister far more often than you are the fire starter.  At times she will pull out fists full of your hair and your response is "Hey. Why'd you do that?"  It amazes me that you never retaliate.  You know your role in our family.  You know that you are the leader and the example for Chloe, and you are so comfortable in that role.

For this coming year, my wish for you is that you continue to love school, and reading, and that you feel loved and safe and secure.  I hope you continue to grow confident in who you are and that you stand by what is important to you.  And, I hope you know exactly how much you are loved.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl,

Love You Forever & Always,
Momma

A Miracle to be Thankful For

This is Mr. G.  He is the student teacher in Camdyn's Kindergarten classroom this year.  Mr. G decided to change careers and follow his true passions in life, learning and children.  He beams in the classroom and it shows, the children adore him, and he almost always has one, or five, glued to his side.

Just a few days after this photo was taken of Mr. G dressed as an M&M for Halloween, he suffered a massive stroke.  One so dehabilitating that the doctors said there was nothing they could do.  We were informed of this on Halloween night and told that his chances of survival were slim.  Our family began to pray.  Camdyn would pray for Mr. G every night.  Grief counselors were brought in to talk to the children about Mr. G, the hospital, and death (as frightening as that sounds). 

But, a miracle happened.  The swelling and bleeding in his brain subsided, he was moved out of ICU, and rehab therapists were bought in.  At this point he wanted to see children, so Camdyn and I made a trip to the hospital with one of her classmates.  They were shocked and overwhelmed, he didn't look the same, he could not speak, and he looked pale and frail.  His therapist asked the girls to sing "Happy Birthday" with him, and he would sing along.  He tried, but no sound came out.  The girls left the hospital that day talking about how much they love Mr. G.

A week later, and Camdyn is begging to see Mr. G again.  We make another visit with the same classmate and are astounded at his progress.  This week he is wheeling himself down the hallway.  He is holding the Potato Turkey that Cam made him in his hand, and he is grinning the biggest half grin we've seen; his color is back, his soul is shining.  This time when they sang "Happy Birthday" Mr. G sang along and LOUD too.  I was brought to tears.  What a miracle this man is!  He surely has more work left to do on this earth. 

Last Thursday, Camdyn's class had a Thanksgiving feast in their cafeteria.  Afterwards, the parents were invited to the classroom to watch the children perform their Thanksgiving songs and eat dessert.  It was then, that I saw this: 



A piece of artwork depicting what Camdyn is Thankful for.  1.  The Ranch  2. Natr (nature  - OMG cute!)  3:



Mr. G.  She drew him lying in his hospital bed.  When I saw this I had to blink away the tears, I pulled out my camera, my heart swelling with pride.  Her teacher saw me photographing her art and said, "She's the only one in the class that thought to put him on there" and then she began fanning away tears. 

My girl has a big heart. 

These are indeed great things to be thankful for, and now we are hoping that Mr. G., will be a walking and talking Christmas miracle. 

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

The Show

It's hard to believe it's been nearly a week since we went to the Taylor Swift concert.  We had been looking forward to this show and a night out on the town with the girls for weeks. 
We started off with a early dinner at the Cheesecake Factory.  I forgot to pack crayons and a coloring book for Cam, but she did well, and actually impressed with me with her ability to self-entertain.

Of course, we hit traffic on our way downtown, and when we finally got within sight distance of the St. Pete Times Forum, it was 7:00.  Camdyn was so afraid that we were going to miss it, and I was getting anxious too! 

But we arrived, and hadn't missed a beat!  The first stop was the restroom, where Camdyn took this photo with her ticket.  For whatever reason, she had her leg up in the air with her hand on her knee, like Captain Morgan.

And then we got really excited about all the giant Taylor Swift posters in the corridor.

We found our seats, which were pretty killer.  We had a great view of the stage.  Notice that Cam has on a yellow TS t-shirt.  I ordered it off her website for $5.  It's a really old shirt from her days opening for Rascal Flats.  I didn't care.  We avoided the T-shirt line and I saved some $$.  Score!

Here's the girls!  Thanks for coming with us and making our night so special!

So Sweet!

During a ballad, Cam made the Heart on her own, while she was swaying to the music.  Girlfriend had no problem keeping up with TS.

This is where she came down off the stage and walked the perimeter of the arena and then sat on a small stage at the opposite side.  She was sooo close to us.  (she's blurry and in purple and glows like the angel she is).  We had such a great view at this point in the show, that we actually all sat down and rested our tired legs. 

This is the finale.  She flew on this balcony all around the arena, and ended up flying directly over top of us.  It's also the part where I screamed like a teen-age girl and Cam said "Ow, Mom.  That was right in my ear.  Quit it."  Sorry kiddo. 

And after 2 hours of solid, non stop, entertainment, it was over.  We took a very tired little girl home with us, who absolutely had the time of her life.  I'm sure she won't ever forget her first concert, and I just can't wait to do more mother/daughter things with her (and her sister) in the future. 

**all photos provided by Vanessa