We Are Glass

Sometimes a song just speaks...

Pomp and Circumstance - Kindergarten Style

It seems like just yesterday that I snapped these photos of Camdyn on her first day of Kindergarten.  She was so happy she was glowing and not a tear was shed as her Daddy and I kissed her goodbye that morning in her classroom. 

And now, here we sit at the end of May, the end of the school year approaching like a freight train. 

Kindergarten is nearly over. 

She grew up immensely this past year...and she had a ton of fun doing it. 

Come to think of it...we all grew up immensely this year. 

Where she began to lay the groundwork for good work habits, study skills, and focus.  I began to lay the groundwork for personal happiness, goals, and a functional family.

 


 

Where she declared victory for earning 20 reading counts points and getting her picture on the tree in the media center, I declared my own personal victory.  I am happier than I was before...maybe not every day, but in general I am happier and healthier. 

I told you.  :)

Where she did gem mining and learned about rocks.  I moved rocks too.  Actually, more like big chunks of concrete.  I took a long hard look in the mirror and I made changes.  Changes that make my life better and more active.  Changes that put priorities in order. 


She learned about rocks with the help of a guide.  I moved mine with the help of dozens; friends, pastors, therapists, my family and God.  It takes a lot of people, and a lot of power to move big rocks, but I am doing it....steadily and with help.

And throughout the year, she continued with her riding lessons.  She's posting like a pro, she's jumping rails and still looking forward to every lesson.  She's found her passion.  We've rediscovered ours.

It's up and it's down.  It's life. 

And friendships make it easier.

Maybe it really is true, that everything you need to know, you learn in Kindergarten. 

It's been a year of learning for all of us.

Last night Camdyn graduated from Kindergarten.  We are so proud of all her accomplishments this year.  She's grown, she's changed, but she's still our energetic, exuberant little girl.   

A little girl who has learned the trick of an "open mouth smile" from her Momma.

 Open Mouth Smile = Super Happy and Copious Amounts of FUN!

In celebration, we had yogurt at OrangeLeaf after the ceremony....nothing says celebration like ice cream with any topping your heart desires!

Please hang with this wiggly and over-zoomed video until the 3:10 mark.  It'll be worth the giggle.  Promise. (Taylor Swift Cam is in the back row)



I am so proud of you, Cam!  I'm hoping that first grade brings a whole lot of sunshine with it. 

Love you!
Forever n Always,
Momma

The Video - Mi Chloe

From her 3rd birthday shoot...

We are seeing Taylor Swift on Saturday

I am so excited to see this sold out show with my gal pals and my oldest girl on Saturday night.  She is a huge fan although she doesn't know it yet....or maybe she does.

Chloe Sings the ABC's

I'm so much quicker with the video camera this 2nd time around. I realize that one day she'll wake up and the baby voice will be gone. One day, she'll belt out her ABC's perfectly as if she'd been doing it all her little life. So, I pick up my  Sony Bloggie (like the flip, only better - love that device) and I press Record...because a few years from now, this cuteness will be a long lost memory.

This is where she gets all Country-fied at the Pumpkin Patch

We went to the pumpkin patch on Saturday....you know the same one that I lost Cam at last year.  I couldn't help but think of that situation as we pulled in to the parking lot. I said to my girls, "Now, listen. This is the same place where I lost a kid last year. We are all going to stay together and hold hands. No running ahead." Cam piped in and said, "Yeah! You lost ME!!"

This year, I didn't lose any children and we had a great time. The weather was chilly and actually resembled true fall. I'll get a few photos up this week (I really didn't take many) but for now...I'll share this spectacle with you. After she was done, an elderly woman came up to her and said "God sure did grant you with rhythm my child."



Rhythm and buckets of personality.

Happy Monday!

Oooh Ahhh - The Dining Room Dance

It's our last day of the cruise. 

We've been at sea all day, playing on the waterslide, soaking up the intense sun, and watching movies in our cabin. 

It's dinner time.  We shower and dress for the occassion. 

Camdyn is on her best behavior.  She has no toys to keep her busy, only a yellow crayon and a kid's menu.  She orders her meal with her very best manners, "I'll have fruit to start and then chicken nuggets and fries please."  She holds her napkin on her lap and sips water from a wine glass.  She watches her "boyfriend" play his DS.  I never have to remind her to settle down. 

And then....the music pops up.  There's an announcement.  Diners start rising from their chairs.  We know this drill.  It takes Camdyn a minute to figure it out.  She gets it. 

It's time to dance with the waitstaff.




This was probably my favorite moment of the cruise.

The Cruise

In one word, our vacation was AWESOME.  You know you had a good time when you realize vacation is over and you immediately start to plot in your head when you can go on your next one. 

This was my first cruise.  It was a short one...a 4 day-er to Key West and Cozumel and then back to the port in Miami.  For us, it was the perfect length, plenty of time to relax and let loose, but not so much time that we were starting to look forward to getting off the boat. 

We traveled with friends.  Camdyn had a pre-school friend to keep her company and Cam's "boyfriend" was also there.  She simply adores that child, you can just tell from the photos.  We spent time with our friends at the casino, lounging by the pool, and at the comedy club in the evenings.  We spent our time off the ship together, shopping and exploring and in the evenings our dining table was full of laughter and friendship.

For me, the best part about cruising was that there was no "work" involved in this vacation.  There were no meals to plan, restaurants to decide on, roads to navigate, laundry to do, counters to wipe down, crowds to beat, etc.  We made our own schedule, we relaxed the way we wanted to, and we just enjoyed BEING.  Isn't that what vacation is all about? 

For us, it was a good decision to leave Chloe home.  I don't think she would have tolerated our late nights, missed naps, etc. the way Camdyn did.  One evening we checked Camdyn in to Camp Carnival (which she loved) at 9:30 pm and didn't pick her up until 1:15 am.  This was followed by ice cream and a bedtime that was shortly after 2 am.  Fun? yes.  For a 2 year old? No.

The next time we do this...it'll be with both the girls!  I'm already looking forward to it!

On this trip I decided not to bring my DSLR.  I didn't want to be responsible for it.  I didn't want to lug it, and I didn't want to spend most of my time trying to get good shots.  Do I regret it?  A little.  There were a lot of great opportunities for fantastic photos.  Although, my point n shoot still captured the memories and now I don't have that shadow hovering over me that is "I have a ton of photos to edit." I was in the moment.  I am happy for that!   

**This is my first slide show thrown together in Lightroom.  It's not perfect, but I didn't have time to tinker with it.



Enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday - Dance Trance

I have no words for this.
Enjoy.

4.5 Years Summed up in 4 Minutes

I dropped Camdyn off this morning for her last day of Pre-School.  I left her with 15 cups of pudding to celebrate with her friends and parting gifts for her teachers.

Surprisingly, my heart is not heavy.  I'm okay with this.  This is life and progression; moving on and growing up is what this gig is all about. 

So, this is how we will sum up Camdyn's Pre-School career a 4 minute video of memories from the past 4.5 years.  It's been good....It's been really good.

***Edited To Include***
My apologies, Flickr did not load my entire video last night.  I will try and have the full version up later this afternoon.  This is only the first minute of it...dang it Flickr.

The entire video is now up :) 



...and we get to do it all over again with Chloe Belle.

Thanks for the Memories!

Vacation Staycation Pictures

You know how it works when you think you can throw something together really quickly and it should be seamless, and then it never works out that way.  That's this video.  I really wanted to use the "Just the Way You Are" track by Bruno Mars but my itunes wouldn't let me upload it MP3 style, and Picasa won't use MP4 files, so I spent hours dinkering with it only to get so frustrated that I just grabbed the last song I used on one of these slideshows.  Sorry about the audio and burdening you with another country tune, but it's 11:00 and I'm whooped.  Bruno will have to wait for another day.

The trip involved a lot of pool time, coloring books, and beer.

Happy Friday, Y'all!

Preschool Drama and a Movie

Date night was awesome last night!  Hubs and I got to spend 5 solid hours together sans kids.  He opened doors for me, said he wished he was more dressed up, and held my hand like we were teen-agers.  We had dinner and saw a movie, but not before we went and visited a brand new squishy pink baby.  To be honest, I felt a twinge in my ute, my ovaries itched a tiny bit, watching Hubs hold that tiny bundle in his hands made my heart flutter.  I was starting to feel fevery, but, then at dinner I gulped a Shocktop and the feeling passed.  I do not have baby fever.  I do not have baby fever.  There.  I convinced myself.

Moving on. 

The orientation for Camdyn's VPK class did not measure up to my expectations and left me feeling underwhelmed.  If you are new here, or suffer from pregnancy brain, or mommy brain, then GO HERE and read the back story on our Pre-School drama.  Okay, maybe it is MY preschool drama.

Orientation started off with all of the parents of the children combined in to one classroom.  Cool.  It appears that it is a good turnout, there are lots of parents here.  Then, a mere 5 minutes in to the orientation they separate the classes, which basically means me, the Hubs, and one other parent stand, walk across the classroom and head down the hall.  In that moment, I felt the way I imagine my kid will feel everyday, as she is pulled from her friends at 8:30 in the morning and brought down the hall to another classroom. 
I felt like the oddball
I felt ostracised
I felt like I was being separated from the popular group. 
I felt like that kid that nobody wanted on their kickball team. 

So, we walk down the hall and we see the room that Camdyn will spend her days in for the next year.  It's smaller than the classroom she is in now.  The bulletin boards are bare (her teacher had a reason for this, but still....not a good start).  And honestly, coming from the giant, bright, fully prepared room that the rest of the parents are still sitting in, this room is down-right depressing.  Ugh.  My heart sank.  I just can't shake the feeling that Camdyn is in the slow group, that this group of kids was hand selected because they need more help, or don't get along well with others. 

Dear Director,
I realize that there has been quite a fallout this year over classroom assignments.  You've dealt with several sets of irritated and irate parents who are upset that their children are being separated from their best friends.  You've dealt with parents like me, who are concerned that their kid is behind or has a behavioral problem and that she has been designated to a classroom with other children that have similar issues.  Although you have assured me that is not the case, I still feel like it is.  Why is that?  Is it because there isn't a good mix of kids in the smaller class?  You claim that you separated by gender since there are fewer boys.  Why does the small class have 4 boys and the larger class only has 3?  That doesn't make much sense if we are talking statistics and percentages.  Seems to me like your theory isn't holding weight...it makes me not trust the reasons you gave me.

Here's a piece of unwarranted and unsolicited advice.  In the future, when you are assigning children to classrooms if you don't divide them according to ability and temperament, then why don't you just draw names out of hat.  That seems to me the only fair way to separate the children without alarming their parents, causing them grief and worry, and thereby causing the children grief, and it will save you from this entire scene.  Seriously, this is weighing heavy on my heart, and I don't think I'll rest easy about it the entire year. 

Every day when I march my child right past the big, bright, cheery room with ALL OF HER FRIENDS in it, I will feel this way.  Everyday, I will silently fight my gut feeling that my kid is behind, or isn't capable of functioning in a group with her friends.  And, everyday, I will be thankful that we are one step closer to Kindergarten.  Because at least there, I will feel like she is on even ground with the rest of the children.  When she's there, I will feel, again, like she has a chance at being viewed as the bright, charismatic child that she is.  I will wish the entire year away....everyday.  And, I hate that I have to feel that way each time I walk past room 114.

(please note this has nothing to do with the teachers - love them.  Just the classes, and how the kids are mixed up)

Sincerely,
One overly concerned, extremely sensitive, and some-what dramatic parent

And, that's all I have to say about that.

Because I believe in balance, taking the good with the bad, and finding the upside in a situation.  Here's a slideshow of pictures I took last Saturday. Maybe through them you can see just how important this school has been in our lives over the past 4 years.  Maybe you can see just how happy Camdyn is with her friends, and maybe you can understand a little more about why I'm so bothered by the classroom scenario. 

So, here are the kids, enjoying the playground, enjoying cake, enjoying the water.  And, just enjoying being kids!  I love them all, and their parents too!

**I realize that some of the pictures are out-of-focus, but they still show the moments, so I included them.

Friday Video Awesomeness

Happy Friday y'all!  If all goes according to plan I'll at be work for 3 hours on Friday, and then I'll be on my way to weekend bliss.

{Hey Brent (Bossman) if you are reading this, I often write my posts at night and schedule them to post in the morning.  So, right now while I'm knee deep in all of the work that you are tossing my way on Friday morning, rest assured I didn't take one red cent of time away from the project to post this.}

I thought I'd take it easy and share with you a few videos from last weekend. 

This one was taken in the girls' playroom which is also attached to Camdyn's bedroom.  So, when you are picturing the child locked in her room...this is the room she's confined to.  And please excuse the embarrassing number of stuffies that have taken over the closet in the playroom.  I have no idea what else to do with them!



And here Camdyn takes Chloe on a horsey ride throughout the house. Don't worry, the baby didn't really get whiplash at the end. She actually loves to lean all the way back and then crank herself forward. They are quite cute when they do this, and hey, it saves me from having to push the baby around.  Maybe Cam is really helping out more than I thought. 



I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

If Jumping to Conclusions were Jumping Off Buildings then I just Jumped off the Sears Tower

Splat. 

Nothing good ever comes from jumping to conclusions, you know, before you have all the facts.  That's exactly what happened to me last Thursday. 

The backstory:
At our pre-school there are two classrooms dedicated to full-time VPK (voluntary pre-kindergarten) both teachers are awesome and I love them both.  You can't go wrong with either one of them.  On August 23rd the children will move to their new classrooms.

The Story:
On Thursday morning, while dropping Camdyn off in her classroom, I ask her current teacher which teacher Cam will have for VPK.  She tells me that Camdyn will be with Miss C.  Sweet.  I love her, she's known Cam since she was 9 months old.  That's awesome.  Then, I ask her which of her friends will have Miss C too....NONE OF THEM. 

This is where, my head starts to spin.  How is that?  She's being separated from Madie next year, and Nicole?  They've been together since they were 1!  I was floored.  I felt like I was falling through the rabbit hole like Alice in Wonderland.  My head was spinning.  So, I start asking questions and I learn that one class has 18 kids (yes - 18) and the other only has 8.  Camdyn is in the group of 8.  Okay, so now I start trying to figure that out and my mind ventures to that terrible place where I start trying to breakdown that decision.  Is she in the smaller group because she needs more help?  Then, this comes out of my mouth, "OMG - She's in the "slow" group!"  Sweet Jesus.  She's behind.  They have already labeled her as "low" and she's going to be pigeon-holed for the rest of her academic career.  I know, it's dramatic, but that's where my mind went.  And then I took this turn.  Or, maybe she has a serious behavior problem.  Maybe, she is unruly and it would be easier for her to be in the smaller group because they can't control her, heaven knows I have a hard time at it too.  My kid must be THAT KID. 

When, I left the pre-school that morning, I was sick to my stomach, near tears, and I was angry that Camdyn wasn't with all of her friends in the bigger class.  I was that stereotypical "my child does nothing wrong, why is she being singled out, I'm going to put an end to this" parent.  Now, I swore I would never be that parent, the parent that was every teacher's worst nightmare because they refused to recognize a problem, and defended their kid regardless of circumstance, but here I am. Another of parenthood's "don't judge me" lessons.  And, then I started thinking about what this means to me, how I was feeling now that Cam would be separated from MY FRIENDS, the Mommas that I love hanging out with and meeting for playdates.  I couldn't figure out if I was more devastated for Cam since she'll be separated from her besties, or for myself. 

I stewed on it all.day.long.  By the time I spoke with the director about it, I was nearly in tears.  Okay, I was in tears.  No one enjoys thinking their kid has a behavior or learning problem.  I confirmed that one class has 18 kids, and one has 8.  They were separated based on age to obtain a mix in both classes, then they separated the kids that had been together the longest, and separated the girls that "feed off each other."  This was interesting to me.  I know that Madie & Cam fight like sisters.  They love each other, but the two can also find themselves in screaming matches.  I was assured that they were not grouped by ability (that would be ridiculous at this age) and that Camdyn does not have a learning or behavior problem that needs addressing.

I gathered from the director that they thought Cam was a good fit with Miss C because they have a relationship already (Miss C runs the nursery room at church) and that Cam would adjust easily (compliment to Cam). 

So, my feelings began to change.  This is a gift.  Being in the smaller class is a good thing.  Camdyn is going to get more attention and hopefully a hand-up in preparing for kindergarten.  She's not going to be lost in a sea of 4 year old faces...she'll be 1 of 8.  How could that be a bad thing?  Plus, I love her teacher, she is experienced, and if anyone can get Camdyn to finally recognize the letter "W" Miss C can.  Plus, I'll still have my momma friends, Cam will still see her friends on the playground, and it'll be okay. 

It turns out that I'm not the only Momma who was traumatized by classroom assignments for next year.  There are a handful of other Momma's who are royally pissed off....still.  I shared my perspective with them, their thoughts "They are 4.  They aren't going to college, they are going to kindergarten.  Let them be with their friends for one more year."  I get that perspective, but would much rather my kid learn what she is supposed to learn, so that she can be at the top of her Kindergarten pals instead of struggling, feeling behind, and possibly losing interest in learning in elementary school.  The adjustment from school being entirely play centered and social centered needs to begin in Pre-K, otherwise Kindergarten is going to be a reality check.  This is the first step.

And, I learned - again, for the zillionth time in my 32 years - that Jumping to Conclusions always ends badly.  One day, I might actually think of that before I'm free falling into conclusion-ville. 

And because jumping to conclusions and jumping in general is so much fun.  Here is Chloe jumping too...well, sort of.

A Return to My Roots

Literally.  Much to my Daddy's dismay, I've lost the blonde and gone a shade darker than my natural. 

Self portraits are awkward, video is easier, especially when a 4 year old is assisting in the dialogue.

I like it.  It matches my eyeballs!



And, isn't the little white dog the cutest!

Thankful Thursday - An Open Letter to My Momma

Mom,
You left town just over 24 hours ago, and Camdyn has already asked me a gazillion times "Where's Gramma?"  You are missed already. 

It's always so amazing to me how easily you just blend right in to our family life when you visit.  You anticipate what needs to be done and where you should be, before I even have the chance to ask.  Case in point, you must have emptied the dishwasher 5 times in 12 days, and never once did I ask you to.  Although, I try not to show it, you can tell when I'm exhausted, or overwhelmed, and you remind to take care of myself.  You know me.  You know me, like maybe only God knows me. 

That night when we spent a half hour playing 2 different types of Memory Games in Cam's bedroom and we concluded that memory really does go downhill with age, I was a bit saddened.  Saddened that we don't live around the block, saddened that you can't take the girls out to pizza on a Friday night, and then just drop them back off at home.  Saddended that these moments only happen 2 - 3 times a year. 

And, just as I begin to reflect on the choices that I made in my life; The choices that brought me to California for 4 1/2 years, the choices that lead to marrying a man who didn't live in my hometown; the choices that brought me 2 babies whom you love like they are your own.  I am THANKFUL.  I realize that the choices are blessings, and had my path led me to a different destination, the 2 little girls that brought our lives full circle, wouldn't be here.  The happiness that I feel when we are all together wouldn't be there.  The moments, like Belle's belly laughs during tubby time, wouldn't resound the way that they do.  Those moments would be lost in the casualness of everyday life. 

One day I hope that something will change, maybe the retirement years will allow you to spend more time down here.  Or, maybe I'll find myself a SAHM, and can spend more time up north.  But, for now, I'll treasure the moments, visit and revisit my pictures, and THANK the heavens that you are the type of Mom & Gramma that invests your time in your family.

You are the Momma I am learning to be.

Love,
Your baby girl

PS:  And when I found that 100 bucks that you snuck behind my cell phone as I took your suitcase out of my truck, I smiled.  Because that's what you always do and I could even hear you saying "buy something that is just for you."  And, then I laughed as Liz checked her cup holder to see if you left her $100 too. 

It's the Dad Life

It's been a busy two weeks with the rents in town. We've been lunching and shopping, swimming, and playing non-stop and it's been fabulous.  Today, I drive my momma to the airport which is always hard.  But, I'll have the company of the Bestie with me today and then we'll hit the International Mall for a little retail therapy and dinner at the Cheesecake Factory.  That should soften blow. 

Last night my Mom and I were sitting on the couch relaxing.  We were exhausted from an evening of playing at the park, wrangling kids in the tubby, dressing them, and feeding them.  We were unwinding, watching mindless TV, updating future blogs, and decompressing.  Well, Hubs comes rushing over with his cell phone in hand and he says "You have to watch this."  Um, my heart stops.  Hubs sometimes has a sense of humor that is worlds apart from my mom's and I was a little bit hesitant, okay, a lot a bit hesitant and slightly fearful of what he was going to show us.  I wouldn't want my Momma to be floored, shocked, appalled, or embarrassed by whatever the Hubs finds funny at the moment (BTW, I love that about him). 

So, he shows us this.

You're welcome.

Baby Kisses and Fistfulls of Food - The Movie

This video was taken on Memorial Day and it's too cute not to share.  Well, it's cute only if you think that babies blowing kisses and babies that shove their entire fists into their mouths while eating is cute.  If not, then I would bypass on this. 



Happy Saturday Ya'll!

She Ain't Sick - The Video

At least when Chloe is sick she is still cute and incredibly happy.  It makes staying home all day enjoyable!

Knee Walkin'

Chloe Belle is rapidly approaching 13 months and she is getting so close to walking....but not quite....