Thursday, October 14, 2010

As Thankful as I Could Possibly Be

The last time I said "good bye" I thought it was the final good bye.  I stood at his bedside wondering how this happened.  All the anger and pain over his disease had been replaced with the deepest morose.  He had aged beyond his years, he was thin, incapable of walking unassisted, he was fragile, and vulnerable, and I wanted nothing more than to snap him in to the Daddy that I always knew.

So, I stood there at his bedside, taking a picture with my memory, fully prepared that this may be the last time I see him alive.  As tears welled in my eyes, I prayed that he would want more for himself.  I prayed for strength for his body, I prayed that things would change.

Today, I am Thankful for his recovery.  I am thankful that he has chosen life.  I am thankful for his dedication to his program and for his commitment to his family.  I am thankful for the life the Lord has restored in him.  I am Thankful for the Psalms which brought him comfort and peace when his body was shaking and the waves of nausea were rocking.  I am Thankful that this is now the picture seared in to my memory. 
I am thankful that my girls have their Paw Paw back.  I am thankful for the beautiful childhood memories they will have of him, memories that mirror my own.

This my friends, was the highlight of our trip back home.  Simple evenings spent on the deck, under the setting sun.  Shared pizza, sodas and chocolate chip cookies with easy conversation and the joys of watching children be children, with my daddy - Alive. Vibrant. Healthy.

And I couldn't possibly be more proud {and Thankful}.

15 comments:

Liz said...

Tears.... you really need to warn us when tissues need to be handy! :)

TV's Take said...

Wow, so glad you got your Dad back and your girls have their gpa back. Great post, Kneedeep (Mama Hen also got some laughs out of that one).

Ruth said...

Oh sweet Carol, so glad sweet Paw Paw is there for the girls... what a blessings. Remembering him and praying that his soul shall be satisfied with long life.

Hugs,
Ruth

LeeAnn said...

I'm with Liz...a little tear disclaimer would have been nice. ;-) I didn't know the back story and was so sad to read that first post. I am so happy that your father is well.

vanita said...

this was a beautiful post. and i love your style of writing. just touching. grabbing you're button dear.

Missy @ My Life Ain't Always Beautiful said...

Truly something to be very thankful for. Thanks for sharing.

Sassy said...

What a great post with such a happy ending! Thanks for sharing it with us!

Chelsey - The Paper Mama said...

I'm so happy it's going well.

Kirsten said...

Oh Carol, this is wonderful news! I am so happy your daddy is doing well and that your girls get to experience the gift of a grandfather! :) See you tomorrow Kneedeep!

Anne said...

Such a sad-but-with-happy-ending post! That's so wonderful for all of you and for your Dad. My girls never knew one grandfather (he died shortly before they were born) and now my father is slipping away into dementia. It's very hard. But it does help to look to the future.

Eastlyn and co. said...

Beautifully written, Carol. I am glad your girls have their Paw Paw (that's what I called my grandfather and what my kids call my dad, too!) and that your prayers for healing were answered. That is so reaffirming to our faith!

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

Oh, what a beautiful post! I love the happy ending!

Ashley said...

Wonderful post, love your honesty. I'm so glad you got your dad back!

Colleen (Shibley Smiles) said...

Ok today was a tearful day of joy visiting your blog. You write so beautifully. I'm happy for your daddy, you, and your children to be able to continue to experience each other.

Mama Hen said...

Wow Carol, this is some post! Beautiful! You are blessed to have these moments with your Daddy and cherish every second of it. How special that your children have him in their lives. I am really happy that you had this great trip. Beautiful picture!

Mama Hen