Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I Don't Realize How Much You Do - Until I Go It ALONE

Dear Hubs,
I'm probably that wife and momma who is walking around feeling under appreciated in my own mind for all of the stuff that I do on a daily basis.  I'm guilty of throwing myself little pity parties when it takes me an hour and a half to wrestle two kids into their bedtime routine and then safely into their beds.  I am forever running them to doctor and dental appointments, to play dates, and birthday parties, and sometimes I feel like it never stops.  Sometimes I feel like the universe owes me something because I survive and don't complain out loud about the daily grind. 

What I fail to realize is that you are probably walking around feeling equally under appreciated.  You've been away on business for one whole day.  One day.  That's it.  I can handle it.  It's not like when you went to Canada for 6 months in 2006 or when you went to Mexico for 2 months in 2007 and I stayed on the home front with Camdyn. I totally have this...it's JUST ONE DAY.

But in that 24 hour period, I realize that you do so much more than I give you credit for. I realized this last night as I was juggling dinner, Camdyn's TV show needs, Chloe traveling the house with uncapped markers in her hands, and the dog needing to be walked.  I kept thinking, I wish I had one more set of hands and eyes.  And then it was tubby time, and I had let the water run too long as I was hanging clean clothes in closets, and undressing kids.  I ended up with too many bubbles which the kids loved.  But, then Camdyn asked me to go and get her the Mermaid with the "boodies" (boobies, cause one mermaid isn't wearing her swim suit top) and I couldn't because I couldn't leave Chloe in that deep bubbly water.  And, I wished I had one more set of hands.

And, then it was bedtime and I was rocking Chloe behind a locked door because I knew that at some point Camdyn would want to come charging in, and she did.  She tried.  I had to tell her to wait for Momma, and I would play with her in a few minutes.  And, I wished I had one more set of hands.

Then, deep into the night I wake to find a pretty brown head laying next to me on the pillow.  She says there are strangers in her room.  I let her stay in bed with me.  Then it's 4:30 am and Chloe is having a night terror, and then we are all in our bed and awake and I so badly want to put Cam back in her room and Chloe back in her bed.  And I wished I had one more set of hands.

The alarm goes off, and the dog needs walking, and Camdyn needs breakfast, and I have to pack my lunch and get dressed and get make-up on, get two kids dressed and out the door in an hour.  I do it.  Barely.

(Daddy pulls Chloe with a dog leash tied to her Fisher Price Block Sorter
School Bus, she is wearing a helmet for safety's sake)

In your short absence I realize that you match my daily grind.  You do just as much as I do without asking for a pat on the back.  You work long hours, you make 75% of our dinners, you fold laundry, dress and undress kids, play with them, read to them, tubby them, and you make my life easier.  Easier.  I shudder to think how massive the task would be to raise these little girls without you. 

So, this is me appreciating you, out loud, and on the interwebs, because you deserve it.  And, because I realize that my life is a lot simpler, a lot happier, and a lot fuller because of you.

Now. Come Home. 

(this picture is a  OOF, but I love her expression)

Your girls miss you.

Love you Forever and a Day,


Mama Hen said...

Oh Carol this is beautiful! What a strong love you have for your husband and yes, we do realize what we have when they are not around. My husband travels a lot and it can be really hard. It makes one really feel for the single moms out there. God bless them. This was really well written my friend. Have a great day! :)

Mama Hen

rlooney said...

Love your post!!! It made me think of my own husband and the times that I take him for granted. It also made me think of all the times that I don't take time out to say Thank you.

DadStreet said...

Damn! That is a cool post!! How awesome are you for recognizing your husband?? I think we all can do a better job of appreciating each other. It's amazing what we take for granted on a regular basis. Thanks for making me take a second look at what I take for granted and the things I can appreciate more.

LeeAnn said...

What a great post! I do appreciate my husband and I know exactly how much he does (which, more often than not, is more than I do) but I probably don't tell him enough. This was an awesome shout out to a guy who seems like an awesome husband and father.

Colleen (Shibley Smiles) said...

This is an awesome post. I may have to even show this to my husband so he can see that we do appreciate them even when they feel under appreciated.

I love that you decided to share with the world!

Heather said...

I love this post!!! I sometimes think about ALL the work I do and how the house would just crumble if I wasn't there to hold it up. But then I realize that my husband does a lot too. As much as we want to hurt those boys, we kind of need them around too! :o)

Karli said...

Oh my goodness - best wife ever! You are so sweet to write this (and appreciate) your husband so much. Thank you for the reminder. They do work hard, don't they? I love this! Beautifully written! :-)

Amanda said...

awwww...he is lucky and so are you!!! LOVE this post!

Jennifer said...

What a great way to let him know just how much you need an appreciate him. I think we all feel under appreciated most of the time and it is hard to sometimes be the first one to say 'thanks.' You are both lucky to have eachother :)

Eastlyn and co. said...

Ditto all of the above. You're a special woman, Carol, to not only appreciate your hubs but to let him know how much you do AND set an example for the rest of us. I know I fall short in the showing appreciation department (esp. when compared to the expressing frustration about one thing or another). This little post of yours really is an eye-opener and potential marriage saver! Gonna have to start calling you Dr. Phil! LOL.

Anonymous said...

What a great post! You are so lucky to have a man like that! I always think how hard it would be to do it all alone. Thank goodness for a significant other who loves his family!

Dani and Co. said...

I love this. The look on Chris' face is priceless. Isn't it crazy, the life we have now and the life it was when they were always gone?! You are an amazing writer and photographer, so blessed with talent. I wish we lived closer!