Friday, October 22, 2010

It's Never Too Late for Ice Cream

I think everyone needs just one or maybe two, if you are really, really, lucky. 

You know, that one friend that can read you like a book.  That one friend that knows what's coming before you even open your mouth.  I have that....

Wednesday, was a day that I was feeling like a big parenting a failure.  It was a day that I was questioning the methods that I have chosen to discipline my child.  It was a day when I thought that maybe positive discipline isn't working, and maybe the good old paddle and a little parental fear will do the trick.  It was a day when I realized that I never felt inadequate until I became a parent.

There I stood in the park.  My girls were playing, I was surrounded by my friends and their children just as we have done every day for years.  I stood there, with tears in my eyes, looking at Camdyn and trying to figure out how we got to this place.  This place where she thinks she makes the rules, where she blatantly questions my authority, where she tries to call the shots, and is downright unmanageable at times.  Where did my open communication, my reasoning and listening skills, and all of the other tools I have been using get us?  They are not working right now.  The theories we were testing with my independent and strong willed child are not working.  I felt defeated.  I felt like I had failed her.  Tears leaked from my eyes.  And, my girlfriends stood there silently.  They knew in that moment there was nothing to say to help.  They knew I just needed some space and some fresh air.

And, then I got home and I got a text:

Her:  Hey if you are feeling up to ice cream later, I would love to indulge in some with you :)
Me:  Thanks.  I will let you know.  I am tryin' to survive dinner
Her:  Okay, just let me know...Hang in there

Me (8:07 pm):  I think it got too late.  Thanks for the offer though
Her:  It's never too late for ice cream....But I'm always up for ice cream so let me know
Me:  Well I am ready for bed so itd have to be McDonalds.  Meet you in the parking lot at XXXX in a few?
Her:  In PJ's?  Meet ya there!  We'll eat in the car
Me:  Perfect...

And it was.   She had the hot fudge sundae, I had carmel.  We listened to the new Sugarland CD (awesomeness) and talked about the events that had happened with Camdyn.  We talked about what I could change, what our family could change, and how life moves so fast sometimes it's difficult not to get overwhelmed.  We spent 45 minutes eating ice cream in the car that night, and I did most of the talking and brain dumping, and she did a lot of nodding.  It was exactly what I needed and she knew that.  I went home a little less stressed.  I talked it out with Hubs a second time in a truly constructive manner.  It's going to take the whole team to turn this ship around, but we'll get there.  This Momma is standing her ground.

So, to my friend who shall remain nameless thank you for saying "It's never too late for ice cream" and for just being you.



TV's Take said...

I love your friend! How awesome! I think I need some of that ice cream about once every 6 days. Great post, Kneedeep!

cooperl788 said...

I love this! What a great friend. I think everyone needs some time to step away from the situation and take a fresh look at it to find the right solution. You're a wonderful mother!

Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

You are so blessed to have such a great friend. I wished my best friend lived closer and not two hours away.

Liz said...

I'm glad I was able to be there for you. Life gets tough and sometimes you just need to talk things out and have someone there to listen. The best thing about it is I know you would do the same exact thing for me.

You and hubs will do great ... hang in there, stand your ground, and things will turn around. Camdyn is an awesome child .. very imaginative and caring. She is strong willed so she's going to test you to the limit, but she'll start to see right from wrong. Never think you are an inadequate parent. Every parent faces challenges at certain stages and you'll get through this one. Just a bump in the road, I promise. :)

Love ya! :)

Ashley said...

Sweet post! You're lucky to have such great friends. A pj ice cream party sounds so fun! :) hang in there with parenting, you're doing great, they will test us every step of the way. Xo

Lindsey said...

Having friends like that is such a blessing, what would we do without them seriously? But you are a wonderful parent and we all have those days where we feel like failures, I have them more than a couple times a week actually ughhh. But it's definitely a learning experience not just for our kids but for us as well. Parenting doesn't come with a manual it's a learn as you go along type thing which can totally, well, I will just say it, SUCK sometimes! My 7 year old is going through a severe sassy rebellious attitude stage, and trying out new methods and disciplines is a challenge. Hang in there, us moms are right there with you! ((HUGS))

Jennifer said... is never too late for ice cream, regardless. Next, I am sure you know that we all have those days where we feel like a failure as a parent. It is inevitable. And we are not alone, someone is always out there feeling the same. But, I think it is a part of parenting and all we can do it is try to make the best decisions that we know how. Hope the ice cream really made you relax and start fresh the next day :)

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

It sounds like you have a wonderful friend! What a blessing that is!

Sunshine SAHM said...

You had me at "Ice Cream".

I too, had a really rough week with my little one! Maybe they've all conspired on the playground to make sure we know that we have our work cut out for us. I hope things do turn around for you soon. If not, can I come for ice cream next time too? I promise to wear my bestest pj's and not hog all the peanut topping.

I LOVE that you met in the parking lot in your pj's - that says so much about your friendship and how the right person can make such a big difference. Great post.

The Rheinlander's said...

This reminds me of my own friendship... we pretty much done the same exact thing : ) I'm very thankful for her!! We are blessed.
Following from the Nest : )

Colleen (Shibley Smiles) said...

What a great friend! Glad you have someone like that to lean on. Kids should have come with an instruction manual because they are much more complicated then anything that does!

LeeAnn said...

I wish I could come have ice cream in the parking lot with you and Liz. I swear I am going through the EXACT same thing with Rylie now and I don't know what to do anymore. Obviously there will be an email following this comment. ;-)

It is so great to have a friend like that! You're lucky, and I know you know that. I know how much you and Liz value your friendship with each other.