Always Look Back - A letter to my Lovies

C&C,

Have I told you lately how much sheer joy you bring to our lives?  Well, you do.  There are moments when the chaos is swirling, when I am competing with the TV for your attention, moments when teeth find their way out of mouths and on to skin, and moments where the squabbling over toys seems endless. 

And, then there are moments that are quiet as we read books before bedtime, as you play side by side in tubby, and moments when I feel like everything is as perfect as it could ever be.  Moments where I stop and count my blessings. 

Last night my heart could have exploded with joy, joy in something as unprofound as a wagon ride.  An after the bath, evening ride, down the block, with the cool wind against our skin, and the pure pleasure of being together.  The simple joy of watching my girls, my lifeline, side by side, enjoying themselves together.  Finding peace in our family unit, and joy in the way we have morphed from a couple into a family.  Life is good.

And, then late in the evening when Chloe awoke I was greeted by an odd and unfamiliar sound from the monitor.  Not the usual screaming and crying that ensues with middle-of-the-night wake-ups, but instead I heard "Mom-mmmyyy.  Mom-mmyyyy.  Mom-myyyy."  I couldn't get out of bed fast enough, to get to you Sweet Belle.  The sound of your baby voice was heavenly.  And, yet another milestone marked off the list.  Although you've always had a voice on you, you are now starting to really use your words, instead of your scream.  My heart melted as I rocked you last night, thinking that is the last first call I'll ever hear.

And, then this morning, Camdyn, you wandered out of your bedroom and found me in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher. You began singing the "Good Morning Beautiful" song to me.  The same song that I used to sing to you when I pulled you from your crib when you were a tot.  I couldn't help but to scoop you up in my arms, your legs dangling down past my knees and sing along with you.  How many more times will we do this?  The clock is ticking.

While I feel that tug and pull on my heart strings as you girls grow up and gain your independence right before my eyes, I also swell with joy watching you do exactly that.  There are moments when a wagon ride between sisters has me envisioning what the future holds.  I look at this picture and I see Camdyn at 16, pulling out of the driveway with little sissy in the passenger seat.  I picture you both taking your independence from wagon rides down the block to car rides to the mall. 

My hope for you as you grow up together, is that you always find a friend in each other.   That you grow up knowing that there isn't anything in the world that you can't confide in me or daddy.  That you grow up with confidence, security, and an overwhelming sense of who you are, where you come from, and what you stand for. 

But, my Lovies, I hope as you grow up and your lives take in you other directions, that you always look back.  That you always know that daddy and I will be standing in the driveway, watching you take hold of your future.  That you look back often enough to see that we are always here.

Love you Forever & Always,
Momma