Dear Miss Bellie Boo,
Here we are at 16 months already. I'm most cognizant of this time warp that I'm in the middle of, in the evenings as we sit in the rocking chair. This is something that we just started doing a few months ago. When you were a newbie I was scared. to. death. of succumbing to the sweetness and underlying demon that is rocking a baby...endlessly, tirelessly, bleary eyed, praying the baby will fall asleep all the while wishing I was in bed. Babies waking just to be rocked. It was a habit I didn't want to start so we never did that. You were taught and loved falling asleep on your own, completely unassisted and I was appreciative of that. You gifted me with time to spend with your sister and time to unwind.
But, now you are older, so we rock while you have your nighttime bottle. Yes, you still get a bottle. I just can't seem to say good-bye to the baby in you. We rock, and I lament. How your legs have lengthened and now spill over the arms of the wooden rocker, how you push your feet against it, and curl your toes over the unfinished wood. How you have the strength in your core to move yourself from a cradled position in my arms to sitting upright. How you wiggle down off my lap and wander around the room, playing with the CD player, picking up books, and looking out the blinds. Maybe I should have started rocking you sooner.
And no sooner do I think that and you toddle over, holding your bottle to your lips, holding a binky in your hand and your blanket wrapped over your shoulder, and you want me. You want me to rock you and to hold you, and to stroke your forehead until you fall asleep, and I am content to do so.
I know these moments won't last.
In your waking hours you are changed. You are all toddler, running, dancing, trying to jump but finding your feet steadfast to the floor. You comprehend almost everything we say. When I say "Use your words please," you do. You have a vocabulary, and your first two word sentence being "Mo Kwa-Ker" (more cracker). You love balls, birds, dogs, and lotion. You will stand in the bathroom and squawk the most hilarious squawk until I walk in and ask you to use your words. Your response "Mo" while pointing to the lotion. So, I squeeze some into your sweet palm, and you are happy. You run around the living room with it while I pray that you don't touch the furniture, and then you rub it all over your belly. It's quite hilarious.
I know these moments won't last.
And when you aren't babbling up a storm, sucking on your pacifier, or eating ravenously, you show us that you are still the screamer you were born to be. You still have that spitfire in you, and we hear it. We hear it over the 5 teeth that you are presently cutting at one time (2 of them being molars), we hear it over diaper changes which you deplore. And every time I hear it, I think "scream on baby girl, let the whole world hear you." I believe you have a voice that will be heard. A voice that will do the world good.
But, by far the best thing about you at this moment, Belle, is this:
The refreshing thirst to learn; to experience; to feel cold raindrops on your face. To take joy in every small part of life that adults take for granted; to experience life with wonderment and amazement.
Every moment is an opportunity to learn. And, not only are you learning and absorbing everything about your environment and the world, but you are teaching us. Teaching sissy about kindness and gentleness, teaching us how to play peek-a-boo, and "I'm gonna get you", teaching us about the sweetness in life that is gentle baby kisses on the lips and one finger hand holding.
And, I know these moments won't last.
But, everyday I am THANKFUL, for you, sweet, sensitive, daddy's girl. You balance our family. You make our family complete. And, you are a source of joy.
Love you Forever and Always,
Momma
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
And 10 more things that I am Thankful for This Week:
51). McDonald's for always making my coffee the right way
52). The fatigue and soreness in my entire being right now from doing a Muscle Works class that about did me in yesterday. It means I did my body some good
53). Friends like Liz who motivate me to go workout and then listen quietly the whole time I complain about it
54). Hot water - our water heater ran out of gas on Monday morning, and we had 2 days without hot water.
55). Ramona & Beezus. Camdyn and I are almost on the last chapter of this book and will see the movie when we are done with it. This is our first book without pictures, and much to my surprise she loves it! It's been a great bonding time for us every evening
56). Hubs - for having some patience with me and I try to figure out the whole positive discipline thing. Seriously, change is tough, but we are getting there.
57). Sleek, Healthy, Brown Hair - I had my hairs did on Tuesday, I'm back to brunette and it's fabulous. I should post a picture!
58). Target brand diapers - because they are every bit as reliable as Huggies, and cheaper.
59). Nordstroms - because I got two fantastic deals there last week, and I'm wearing them both right now. Nothing like some new threads to make you feel new again!
60). God and Christian Radio - because sometimes after a rough morning, a few songs and a little praise can change the day around.
8 comments:
Why you HAVEN'T posted a pic of your new hair is beyond me!!!! PS: do I need to try Target diapers?
Great post, Carol. Your "Bellie Boo" will cherish those words one day when she's old enough to understand and appreciate them. Rocking babies is the sweetest, cuddliest feeling, especially when they're not dependent on it! check out this link to read an awesome poem that I have cherished for years with regard to rocking babies: http://community.babycenter.com/post/a5452455/im_rocking_my_baby_and_babies_dont_keep -EW
What a very sweet letter. I had plans to write my children letters each year and give them to them when they are older. At 13,10, and 4 I haven't even started and this reminds me of what I should of done. It is a great letter!
Oh, how I love these "stages" posts. She is a beauty - and obviously loved so much. I miss 16 months. But every stage is incredible, isn't it?
Thanks for the tip about Target diapers! :)
The Thankful on a Thursday blog hop brought me here and I am glad that it did.
You are a wonderful writer and your words will be treasured in your family for generations. What a special treasury of a mother's heart you are creating here.
awww beautiful! :) That brought tears to my eyes! And you are so right... they wont be little like this for long and here i am trying with all my might to try and break my little man of his bottle. maybe ill let him have it just a little while longer. :)
One of my husband's favorite sayings is "let them be little." So true. They grow up so fast--even when you try to slow them down a little bit. Enjoy that rocking time! Lovely post.
Awww Carol what a sweet letter. I have a couple tears in my eyes right now.
Are you planning on having more kids? Feel free to tell me that is none of my business! I'm just asking because I am torn right now with Bryce growing up. On one hand I can't wait for him to be off bottles, out of diapers, walking and potty trained, so we can leave the house with nothing like we do with Rylie. On the other hand, he IS my last child and I know I will never get to experience any of these baby milestones ever again. Hmmm, I think I just thought of a good post. :-) (I have another couple tears in my eyes again.)
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