Skewed

This morning was no different than any other, really.  I woke up before the sun.  The first question I asked myself after "What time is it?" was "Are my kids at home or am I here alone?"  I remembered that they are with their dad, and then I tossed and turned for the better part of two hours. 

By the time my feet hit the floor at 8:15, I had already had a really long and much needed conversation with myself. 

You see, for the better part of the past year, I have been doing my best to keep my head above the tide.  I've been treading water, swimming still, just doing enough to get by.  I've missed chunks of time, just surviving.  I've been tuned out and unplugged, not only from friendships and family, but at times from my own children.  I just simply didn't have anything left to give.

This morning I realized that my perspective has been horribly...

skewed.

I have narrowly focused on the little things and have neglected the bigger picture.

I have far more blessings than I have worries at the moment.  Better than that, I have options.  I have control.  I have my health, a home, and healthy kids.  I, for the most part, have the world at my fingertips.  And while I've been focused on what I've lost and what I'm searching for, I've displaced energy from where it most belongs....On my little girls.

So, today I carry my head a little higher.  There is an extra pep in my step, and at 4:30 I will pick up my lovies from school and we will spend the evening together, just the 3 of us.  And I'm going to give them back what they need the most.  Me.  All of me.