She's 3

My Sweet Chloe Belle,
Yesterday, you didn't take a nap and by 7:00 pm you were on your last leg.  You cried and cried over a horse picture that Camdyn colored and you wanted.  I told myself to be patient with you because you are only 2...and then I realized that tomorrow you would be 3.  So, I took you upstairs and we sat in the rocking chair and I replayed your birthday in my mind as we rocked for what will probably be one of the last times.  After 5 minutes or so, you asked me to stand up because you wanted to rest your head on my shoulder, so I did.  I stood there with you in the fading evening light of your bedroom and we slowly turned circles until you were fast asleep.  I laid you down and kissed your puffy cheeks good night.  And as I shut the door to your room I thought "this will be the last time I ever lay my 2 year old to bed, we will never have another 2 year old." 

This morning I went to wake you and you were not in your bed.  I was alarmed for a minute and then figured you had to be upstairs somewhere.  I found you fast asleep nestled against your sister.  How sweet that in the night when you are looking for a body to curl up against,  you now choose her bed over mine. 

And today you are 3!  Full of spunk and spitfire and solid sweetness just like the day you were born.

At exactly 7:14 this morning, Daddy & I took turns giving you kisses during your birth minute.  You swatted us away and we laughed about how you have always been the same.  You've always been a screamer and a "say it like it is" kind of girl.  You don't get pushed around, you speak your mind, and you care not what other's say.  I think you get this from Grandma D.  You remind me a lot of her, in spirit and temperament. 

But, you are also sweet as the setting sun.  You are a hand holder and a rule follower, and quick to share and please others.  At just 3 you already care about feelings and whether or not Momma is happy or sad.  Sometimes, if I turn my sad face on, your eyes will well with tears.  We are connected that way, just like me and my mom. 

Since we've done 3 before, I know what to expect.  This will be the year that the baby will disappear and a preschooler will be left in her place.  This will be a year of "why's?" and questions and limit testing.  But it will also be a year of independence and cohesive play with your friends and sister.  It'll be a year where tantrums fade and emotions are communicated with words.  It's an age that I'll miss when you are 4. 

What I wish for you this upcoming year is that you continue finding words for your emotions and gentleness in your hands.  I hope you feel loved and safe and secure, always.  I hope that you and your sissy develop a steadfast friendship, which I can tell is already forming.  My wish for you is that you keep that fire in your belly that makes you stand up for yourself and others.  I hope you always speak your mind and that you demand only the best for yourself.  I hope my weaknesses are your strengths.

Happy 3rd birthday sweet girl.

Love you Forever & Always,
Momma

Wordless Wednesday - Sunshine

"Keep your face to the Sunshine and you can not see the Shadow."

~author unknown

Wordy Wednesday - My Valentine

My Valentine Wrote This:

As we grow, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. 

You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. 

You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. 

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt.  Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances, you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you, and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, be a flirt, & smile until your face hurts. 

Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love again, & most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second you can never get back.

Carol - You do matter, you are a brave, beautiful, out going, wild spirited woman! 
You are a wonderful mother and a dedicated friend.

I'm glad to have you as one of my dearest friends!

Hope my jar of happiness lifts your spirits!

Love,

The one and only Miss V

**and my eyes welled with tears.  I am loved.  I know this.**

The jar contains daily affirmations and they smell good too!  Sayings like:
"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines"
"Optimists are nostalgic about the future"
"Put all your excuses aside and remember this:  YOU are capable of anything"

Then I spent a part of my day with 18 kindergartners.  Their energy and enthusiasm is contagious.  I smiled from ear to ear...how can you not be happy when you are around kids? (that horse head is part of Cam's homemade Valentines day box - it is a horse of course)

Then, I picked up my little Lovie from school and we sang all the way home.

Life is Good.  I feel blessed.

Wordless Wednesday - Strength

"All things in life are temporary.  If things are going well enjoy it, they will not last forever. If things are going wrong don’t worry, they can't last long either."

~Author Unknown

My strength lies here...

In their smiles...

In their passion for horses and all things horse related....

In their hugs and snuggles and endless imaginations...

My strength lies in motherhood....in my ability to protect, forgive, and love unconditionally.

Everything absolutely changes with motherhood...priorities, responsibility, schedules, finances...

But the thing that changes the most - is the perception of LOVE.  They are walking, breathing, laughing, climbing, bickering, whiny, joyous, bodies of LOVE.

And I am stronger for it.

She jumps horses at Laurel Valley Ranch

Camdyn's affinity for horses spans back at least a year and half, and when you are freshly 6 years old, a year and a half is a big chunk of your life.  She's been taking private riding lessons since October.  It's something that I thought would eventually wear on her, like swimming lessons and dance classes, and those crowded gymnastics classes at the Y.  I thought it would run its course.  Well, it still is, and it's the one and only thing in life that Cam has ever been fiercely dedicated to.

Hi.  Let me introduce you to Market.  (Initially I wrote Meet Market...but that sounds odd...like meat market, and y'all we are at the ranch not at the gym).

Market is a registered American Quarter Horse, and Cam has only ridden her twice.  It turns out that her trot is smooth and her temperament trusting. 

It turns out that Market is Cam's new favorite horse (so sorry Molly...baby girl is outgrowing you).

Cam's perfecting her 2 point position, she has her crop in hand.  She's focused on the goals ahead.  She's about to turn the corner...

Focus and determination painted across her face, much the same as Market bears her blaze.  She will do this...

And she does; without fear, or doubts, or hesitation.  She jumps.  She's locked in 2 point, hands grasping mane and her crop, momentum forward, looking through Market's ears and focused on the end of the course.  2 jumps completed, one right after the other. 

This is her success. 

Actually, no, this is our success.  Our success in raising one extremely independent, bold, and fearless little girl. 

A little girl who is able to start recognizing her dreams.  A little girl who has parents who support her and her passions even though there are moments where it absolutely scares the bejezus out of me (and yes, she's already fallen off a few times).

And this part of parenthood...you know the part where your children start becoming little people, with long term goals, feelings that they adequately communicate, and real accomplishments...makes me so excited about what the future holds. 

We are going to tackle these rails together, Camdyn.  One hoof in front of the other, eyes focused on the goal....we are going to do it.

Wordless Wednesday - Happiness

"Happiness is when what you think,

what you say,

and what you do

are in harmony."

~Mohandas Gandhi

 

Out to dinner with Camdyn on her 6th birthday. 

Now We Are Six

"When I was One,

I had just begun.

When I was Two,

I was nearly new.

When I was Three

I was hardly me.

When I was Four,

I was not much more.

When I was Five,

I was just alive.

But now I am Six,

I'm as clever as clever,

So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever."

~Now We Are Six, A.A. Milne

Dearest Camdyn,
It's hard to believe it's been a year since my last birthday letter to you.  When I revisit my description of you last year, I simply smile.  Time is evolving and ever changing, and none of us are the same people we were a year ago.  You, my love, have replaced the defiance with compliance and understanding.  Kindergarten has matured you quickly.  You are now the peacekeeper with your sister far more often than you are the fire starter.  At times she will pull out fists full of your hair and your response is "Hey. Why'd you do that?"  It amazes me that you never retaliate.  You know your role in our family.  You know that you are the leader and the example for Chloe, and you are so comfortable in that role.

For this coming year, my wish for you is that you continue to love school, and reading, and that you feel loved and safe and secure.  I hope you continue to grow confident in who you are and that you stand by what is important to you.  And, I hope you know exactly how much you are loved.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl,

Love You Forever & Always,
Momma