Settled

It's been just over a year since that metaphorical house dropped out of the sky and landed squarely on top of me.  It's already been over a year.  Surprising to me, how quickly a year goes by...even a stressful one. 

There were days when all I could do was survive. 

There were moments when I wished I would vanish.

There were nights when I prayed I wouldn't see daylight. 

There were little girls that needed their mother in a capacity that was overwhelming.

But then time happened and things changed.  I started across the bridge, one foot in front of the other, and decided not to look back.  And, the further across that bridge I walked, the happier I became. 

The past year hasn't been easy, but it also hasn't been regrettable.  As many hardships and trials were encompassed in 2012, there have also been moments of unparalleled happiness.

Happiness in making my life my own.  Happiness in my independence and freedom.  Happiness in raising my little girls the best way I know how.  Happiness in rediscovering me.  Happiness in new beginnings. 

So, it's settled.  The terms are settled and the dust is settling.  While there used to be dust storms so huge they would cloud my vision and choke me for air; now, the dust kicks up around the tops of feet and it goes no further than that. 

I am happier.

It is settled.